The World Ain't Gonna Wait For You.

2011-04-01T23:45:00.005+08:00

Sometimes, perhaps being quiet isnt the way to be. Its 9 weeks to POP, i've gone through the confinement week, range, field camp, sit test, grenade, games day, recruit evening, and the next week will be OC evening and finally the 24km march for graduation at marina bay floating platform.

It has been a fast 9 weeks, maybe because my life has been repetitive cycles of 5 days stayin, and each day you look forward to the weekend more and more. It definitely wasnt easy, i've gone through much more than many many other companies, exercise first blood, exercise desert storm (though luckily not exercise night crawler), but i dare say i have definitely learnt much more than other people, in a way. Not just because i have so many ADF personnels in my company, ok maybe so. I have an awesome ranger commander in my platoon, but unfortunately he has left us one week earlier for deployment in some gulf of aiden/eden.

Training for graduation parade is going to be like every other drill training i've been through, going through the formations over and over again would be kinda crazy, but its not going to be as mentally exhausting for me as those who have never gone through those drill trainings before i guess.

The week after graduation will be my block leave and after that i'll be posted to my unit, hopefully a sergeant trainee, though the chances of me going there is rather low. Tired day, shall blog again when im free or have the inspiration to.

Oh and mr wee if youre still reading my blog, i got B for physics again :X

2011-02-26T20:54:00.002+08:00

Its my first book out after the 16 days of confinement, and i'll be going back in tomorrow at 5.30 after having booked out on thursday at 7.

It was a real test of mental strength rather than a test on my physical abilities during the confinement period, or transition period from civilian to soldier as SAF puts it. Of course i cried and broke down a few times, but at least im glad to say i think i've become stronger.

In the course of the 16 days, a lot of things hit me. Like how much the family really means to me. How much my friends really mean to me. But also how hard it was for me to make friends.

I came back a different person. Im tanner and more toned as others put it, but of course i myself dont notice it. Rachel and shaoan just walked past me in clementi mall just now and if i hadnt called out to them i'll probably be just another 'chao recruit' standing around a shopping centre.

BMT will be fast, after field camp everything will be much easier i guess, its just grenade throwing and situational test and poof its the fun week with inter-company games and recruit evening and stuff.

Oh and im collecting results on friday, which means hopefully i'll get to book out on thursday night. I dont want any AAA or AAB or whatever, but i just want a score that allowed me to get into FASS so i can study econs or linguistics which i really really want.

Hopefully i dont need to sign on.

2011-02-08T21:19:00.001+08:00

I'll be entering the army in 14 hours time.

2 weekend confinement, here i come (Y)

2011-01-19T23:55:00.000+08:00

Been long since i blogged.

Around 20 days before i enter the army, looking forward to it, but at the same time dreading the days where i'll be tossed around and kicked around like a dirtbag by the upper-heads

2011's been a new year, things have been rather boring, started off my first job 2 days ago, going for the last shift tomorrow, under some AspireHub company. To me its not really a job, cos it's like doing stuff that i've done before, station masters for games, safetymen and stuff, the usual job scopes you'll get in an amazing race kind of event. But $10 an hour is awesome, besides its better that rotting away at home like maybe 20-40% of the other post a level students.

I get to see how stuff that we learn, (or forced onto us although we dont see the point to some)gets applied in the real world, like, i got to see how important contingency plans are, really.Had to take a cab from sentosa from changi cos of the threatening weather, i think the company could have put more thinking into making the games more interesting in the airport. I think the games would have been awesome if we were able to carry out the course at sentosa, oh well. Constructive feedback wooo.

Its hard for me to find anything to blog about these days/months, everything around me has been happening very fast, when there's something i wanna pen(type) down, something else pops out and i totally forget about it. And blogspot has been laggish recently argh, shall sign off now and prepare for the final sihft tomorrow woooo

2010-12-14T23:45:00.002+08:00

With the sudden craving of minestrone(you sure you know how to pronounce this?) soup after i woke at 2, i dragged myself to the nearest ntuc, the one away from central just to get that can of campbell's. Yesh, im not that lazy ok >:D

Anyway its been long since i've been to that part of clementi, it used to be filled with those old,care-free senior citizens sitting around chatting about everything under the sun and kids(my age back then) running around outside the market. And there used to be large crowds buying fruits from this stuckup,proud fruit stall owner. And obviously all these were the things of the past now. The little town is dead. It has this feeling of greyishness, it has this atmosphere where everyone is just doing things slower than usual, where people have nothing to rush for, living their simple lives to the fullest just by, well, probably stoning there, taking 30mins to drink a cup of coffee alone. A sort of freedom some might say, where the outside world, or the real world doesnt exist. Not in a positive way though.

Much has changed. I remember this straight concrete path toward the market, it used to have this huge growth of mimosas, or touch-me-nots as i call it, next to one part of this path. Like every other kid, i use to step and jump on these plants just to watch them close. Sometimes, i would bend down and slowly give it a slight twitch,and then i'll examine closely at the then amazing plant as it slowly closed its leaves. Today, weeds overflow into the concrete path. The lush green mimosa's with those pink flowers have been replaced with untidy pale green weeds ready to dominate and eat into the other side of the path, with no regard with anything on the path, or the plants on the other side.

So what about you, right now, are the pretty mimosas from the past still as green as before, or has the things around you been weedified?

2010-12-04T21:02:00.003+08:00

As much as most people would try to avoid it, our lives are inherently filled with political struggles, where people fight and beat down each other, directly or indirectly to establish some sort of control.

In a way, it starts from a young age. You have kids who just cry when a baby snatches a toy from another to play with his own friends.Primary school kids blame each other when they're losing in a game or some sort, trying to lead the rest authoritatrian-ly(or a perhaps a style of dictatorship?) in the game, brushing off and totally ignoring other people's feeling. In secondary school you have clique wars and from secondary school to jc/poly there is a gray area where people use facebook and twitter to declare their unhappiness to the rest of the world, not like the rest care about it anyway.

Perhaps like every other thing in this world, such a situation would cause everyone to benefit in the long run, but i still dont see how it could be beneficial to anything or anyone. I believe it will cause more tear and put everyone in a spot where just a small friction would start some forest fire thingy. Especially when youre working within an organisation.

I need to read more, my writing abilities has been detereorating like ___ since sec 4 >:O How about some reccommendations for nice books?

2010-11-11T21:55:00.002+08:00

'19 days to freedom!....16 days to freedom!.....9 days to freedom!.......'

As the countdown continues toward the exam, i cant help but feel that freedom is probably not really a good word choice here. Freedom sounds positive, in my opinion. Liberation from exams need not mean freedom, at least not in a good way. But then again, if so, when can one truly be free, or free again?

Oh but what the heck, 18 more days >:D

2010-10-24T15:50:00.001+08:00

'Without money, we'll all be rich.'

Naise. Oh, and its 36 more days to the end of As, hmm......

2010-10-13T20:31:00.002+08:00

'Bye bye bye bye bye....' the boy chirped as the coffin was slowly carried into the premises for incineration. Holding him on one hand, his mother struggled to put up a strong front in front of her son, but she could not hold back. Her tears fell, as the child just watched helplessly, not knowing what was going on.

The room was overflowing with human despair. Cries, moans, screams mashed together to form a wave of audible sorrow. The stronger ones prayed as the coffin advanced toward the incinerator, but most were too weak to do so.

The cousins who grew up with her weeped the most. Their childhood revolved pretty much around her, when the grandma was still able to walk, cook, and do everything else any other middle aged woman could do. They say she home-made the best oyster sauce around with her own unique bland of traditional ingredients, and others also mentioned how pretty she was in their eulogies, saying how she was still being wooed when she was singlehandedly raising 7 children after my grandfather passed away at the age of 8. The 52 years spent living her life as a widow must have been hard, especially in those post war days.

The daughters and sons stood at the front, wailing in deep agony. The father seemed to have reverted back to his childhood days as he called out to his mother, ' Bye ah ma, bye ah ma....' 'Lei fan lei la ah ma, lei fan lei ahhhhh' cried the youngest daughter as she observed the last few minutes of her mother's body.The eldest son held on to his mother's portrait, hands trembling, as he too could not hold back his tears and called out for his mother, hoping for a reply.

Most of the kids did not know what was going on. The 3 sons of my cousin were afraid. They did not know whether to tear or to laugh, they did not understand the meaning of death. The eldest one seemed to have developed a sense of understanding to death as he tried to console his mother, who was on her knees. The other 2 although not aware of the situation, exhibited the typical human emotion.Fear. They were at a loss at what to do, as adults who had once guided them in their every actions were now sobbing, the pillars in which they could always rely on seemed to have collasped.

Amongst all the bitterness, the grandson stood there, rigid. It seemed as though he was devoid of emotions, it was almost too inhumane for the grandson to not even shed a single tear. He watched as the coffin moved. The grandmother who once always ruffled his hair on his ocassional visits, the grandmother who always sat by him to watch television during the visits, she definitely deserved more from this grandson.

But from the perspective of the grandson, he thought no, that was not the end. Death never was the end. It was an oppurtunity to discover and find out what every other person can never achieve on this earth. They have the chance to see whether god exists.Whether there is something up there that has guided us through all the human miseries and perhaps deliberately creating new ones for us to tackle, so that we could all achieve that idealistic perfect human life. Death was and always has been a part and parcel of life to him, that was the way he was brought up. Sorrow can only move him this much, but no matter how deep the knife cuts, it would take a meteor to plunge right into his heart to enable him to feel.

'No more?Noooo more?No more chu chu train?No more.....' the boy exclaimed, sounding disappointed. It seemed as if time passed too fast for him to enjoy watching the train reach its stop.

To others, it was probably one of the slowest, most desolate moments of their lives, and it will be etched deeply in their soft human minds.

2010-10-10T01:22:00.002+08:00

Though rather offensive to some, sometimes things happen that leads me to think that 'whoever who controls,guards our lives' (up for your own intepretation) us is truly a merciful saviour or an .......

Ever since my grandma fell ill, on and off during the morning prayer sessions i would pray for her to be in good health or at least to be able to attend my cousin's wedding, which is today 10/10/10. Being a free thinker, of course i didn't pray to any particular god, i prayed to whoever was up there, and hoped that that person would have enough kindess to grant me my little wish. Of course, my cries werent heard and unfortunately, my grandma had to move on on the 9th, early in the morning.

My relatives were there in the morning when the doctors called them up to say that my grandma was in critical condition. The doctors said she was doing fine the day before, and even at the very moment before she went away, she even bid my relatives goodbye.

They say she left peacefully.

It was slow,

seemingly painless,

as if it was just another scenario where any other old woman was falling asleep.

My dad told me her clothes for the wedding were already all neatly ironed , hanging in that closet all ready to be worn.He told me how insistent she was on attending my cousin's wedding.Childish as it may seem, it just wasnt fair to her. She didnt exactly had a 'decent' childhood to start off with, and the way she left was as if she was 'kena jacked'.

It just wasnt fair.

2010-10-04T22:50:00.002+08:00

Arthur once told me that i had this knack for writing those dark and gloomy essays, duno i just felt that it was always easier for me to gather up all that doom and gloom within me and pen it down on the paper and i remembered there was this love story that was so dark that i couldnt even belive i wrote that, cos the protaganist of the essay( which is sadly me cos i was doing a personal recount) experience a damn suay and bitter lost in his life.

So i was like having this discussion with my mum in the afternoon, and i was complaining to her that she has brought me up in a totally wrong manner to think that birthdays were totally totall irrelevant in our lives ( be it in the modern society or not ). I felt that this had always led me to ignore the fact that birthdays to my friends were very happy ocassions, but this also reminded me that she has inevitably culled away what could have added on to my small pool of sources of happiness.

I dont know whether its just me, but i wish to think that i see things in a totally different light from people, which many a times makes me a weird person. In the recent death of our ministor mentor's wife, though i dont really know her, from the articles i read, she must be a real imba person, considering the fact that she was like the only female in the back then sexist-society-singapore's RI. Anyway as everyone paid respects to mrs lee, i thought to myself, how will her husband be doing now. Being of old age, how would it feel to lose a life long companion, especially when youre under suffering from rather severe medical conditions? What would it be like to walk around that big empty house alone(ignoring the maids and stuff ok), to know that youre forver alone, literally.

As much as i would like to continue on my rather random train of thoughts, math has called. Lets see whether the dates between my posts follow some AP or GP series thingy, would be rather cool erh?

2010-08-21T21:20:00.002+08:00

Once you're hit with 3 types of cancer, you know your days are numbered.

You know, when you step into any/most hospital, somehow i always feel that theres this feeling of gloom floating around you know, except the koo teck puat hospital where i went to do my heart scan for NS, technology,facilities and building structures there totally change the mood of the hospital.

But tan tock seng hospital are one of those, old school hospitals you know, along with KK and gleneagles. Been long since i've been to a hospital, was surprised at the extent of privatisation being carried out in the hospital, there was like starbucks, subway delifwornce(as you should pronouce it),7/11.

So we headed up to the ward she was hospitalised in, and wow i almost couldnt recognise her man. The impression of my grandma i have is some plump sized grey hair woman who was always baring a teethless smile whenever we visted, no that surely could not be her. Lying in a bed was frail old woman just well, lying on the bed. My cousin was there and so was the maid.

You know, theres even a deeper sense of gloom within the ward since the lights in the ward are usually half dim. Maybe hospitals should you know, brighten the lights in the ward to give their patients something to look forward to. Might sound stupid but check out how excited 95% of the world gets when there are fireworks in the sky. Wait, theres no link here ~_~

But anyway its real sad to see a relative be in such a painful( though she claims she isnt) state man, it kinda sucks cos i havent really interacted much with her. Fault's on me anyway, whenever i go visiting i always sit down and just stare at the television screen while she sits next to me. I dont know how my cousins/nephew/niece are feeling right now, but i think we all share the same regret. Im not really close to my cousins cos im the only one in this 'age group' but lets hope that we wont carry this regret into our relationships with one another in the far future.

Lets just hope that my grandma will be able to fight on till my cousin's wedding on 10/10/10, at the very least.

2010-08-11T20:44:00.002+08:00

Often i have read about how wallets can be used to define a person's character.

As i unpacked the contents from my wallet, my air rifle cert, the broken ice cream sticks, the neoprints and all that, i realised i have got a whole load of memorable junk in my wallet. Perhaps im one of those SNAG, you know sensitive-new-age-guys who treasure their past and keep stuff to remind them of the happy and carefree past, which is so unlike now. I've got my aunt's and uncle's number on a piece of paper which sorta reminded me of the wtf times i had to go through when i had no phone and was out late or alone. The neoprints, gosh those are ancient, dont know what to say. I guess times has changed. Its probably hard to strike up a sustainable conversation with half of them as compared to previous times. Well, we all gotta move on sooner or later right?

Thanks for the wallet guys, though it wasnt really necessary :B

Oh and i just realised today that the insides of my wallet is like mouldy and dirty, dont worry im as pure and clean as you want me to be <:

2010-08-07T23:39:00.002+08:00

20mins more and my 18th would be over, just like that. No outings, no meetups, no birthday spirit around me, not that it matters, but perhaps i'll remember this feeling so that 7 years down the road when my birthday occurs on a weekend again i'll know what to expect.

But im accustomed to all these you see, maybe because personally my birthday isnt much of a special day to me as compared to how others feel about their own. I think my parents brought me up in a way that somehow made me like this unknowingly, but hey that saves them a lot of money on the spending of birthday celebrations eh? But of course i dont share my 'sorrow' which others perceive with my friends around me. I celebrate their birthdays with them with as much joy as they are feeling and i cheap in occasionally( small pocket yo) on presents for them.

Whats a birthday for? Googled it a bit and realised most( those who actually sit down and think about it) is for a person to reflect on what he has done within the 1 year he has aged, and to lay out a blueprint for what you wanna do for a year later. And i dont have to plan much, i think 6-7 months of that time will be planned for me by the Singapore Government next year :D Maybe i wanna gain a few kgs, you know, grow a bit fatter, put on some weight, oh wait they're the same thing. Meh who needs to plan when you're ever ready for what the future brings <: Anyway basically a birthday serves the same purpose as any other 1st January XXXX. Just that my birthday lacks those awesome fireworks.

Day was spent doing thermal physics and oscillations and then basketball. I think its probably one of the most wasteful 18th birthdays in Singapore, if not the world lol. Oh check it out its 12mn exactly. Im one day closer to my next birthday yo (Y)

2010-07-29T21:05:00.002+08:00

As I head toward the end of JC life, i still kinda hate the fact that i chose to follow the norm and take the PCME combo. Im stuck in the boring world of science and i think i'll probably continue with this road unless i really take econs next year. Wait i meant 3 years later, how could i forget about the 2 years of patriotism-in-action.

Maybe it all started when i chose the science combi as i progressed up to sec3. I chose triple science geo, despite getting a rather decent 67 for literature. It was something i really liked, but you know pressure of society really made me change my mind.

And now im stuck here getting bad results, and whats worse i dont even like what im doing. Carpe diem they say, but trapped where i am i dont think i'll be able to do so.Not even in the near future.

2010-06-12T20:51:00.001+08:00

There will always be a “lie” in believe, “over” in lover, “end” in friends, “us” in trust and “if” in life.

Sure explains a lot, am always so tempted to switch over to tumblr D:

2010-05-24T17:13:00.003+08:00

I think my favourite mode of transport has to be the bus.

The long rides at night from the east back to the west with my headphones plugged in are always enjoyable, though the occasional bumps here and there are kinda irritating. Not forgetting those nasty by-right-not-more-than-90-degree turns where the physics of circular motion kicks in. Buses that travel through town or those shophouse areas are actually very interesting, for those of you that have yet to notice it.

The scenes you see at town are not really much different as compared to those you see at the shophouses, but somehow theres a different feel to it. As the bus passes through town, i get to see all those happy faces that people carry around as they just chill around. Glowing lights at ion are reflected throughout the streets, giving people a relaxed mood, though its main purpose is to of course attract people into the mall to buy their insanely expensive stuff. You get to see all the gloomy faces at the bus stops too, most people stare into blank space as they watch all but their buses drive past them one by one, sulking, sianning, well at least they have their ipod touches to keep them company, i mean, seems like everyone is having one nowadays erh? But whats cool is that i cant hear the people's conversations or whatsoever through the panes of the bus, so im actually just looking at human behaviour, in a way.

Actually what can be seen from these streets arent really special, they could even be boring. But somehow, just somehow, it allows me to see all these human emotions, to actually feel how those people are feeling, it seems like im expanding my emotional capacity as I try to understand how the people are feeling ya know.

Maybe you wont really understand a thang im typing here, I think its rather vague too, but i just cant seem to be able to express what im trying to say in this cyberspace. Perhaps you might wanna try it when you're taking a bus, look outside the window and see whats going on ,while you have your mundane bus ride.

2010-05-16T18:57:00.002+08:00

I don't thing anyone in this entire world is not afraid of death. Of course, there are people who say that they embrace death, its just another part of life and all that, but deep down inside, i just know they don't want that deadline to come too soon, i mean, who in a sane state of mind would want it anyway?

A few days ago, I was walking home after a long tiring day in school. Guitar concert is so time consuming D: So along the shelter i saw this old woman, she seemed to be too old to even walk, carrying her handbag by her side, she seemed to be any other random old lady on the street. So as i overtook her, i took a quick glance to see if she was anyone i knew, i was shocked to realise that it was actually one of those active teachers in my lower primary school days, maybe P1,P2 or so. Kinda reminded me of the first time i got punished and sent up to the stage.

There were many Ms Tans in my school last time, then my friend and I were talking about this very Ms Tan, and he didnt know which Ms Tan I was referring to, so i said 'the fat fat one lor'. Then my other friend told the prefect i said that, then that prefect told my form teacher i said that and then somehow i found myself up on stage in my first primary school year lolol.

That aside, i was deeply saddened that after 10 years, she had weakened so much. Its like her footsteps were so draggy and stiff, time spares no one and she was no exception. My grandma has constantly been going in and out of the hospital oh no frequently nowadays, i get this feeling shes gonna move on sooner or later, but of course later than sooner is preferred.

I wonder what i'll be doing at the age of 70. Would i still be playing basketball whenever i like, or would i even get the chance to do random odd jobs just to keep myself active?

ORD for NCOs 2009-2010 was cool, and the dinner with the usual 205 guys at holland v last night was even better. Sat down at barcelos for 4 hours straight unknowingly.

Tagboard removed, comment in future below if you wanna comment some comments >)

2010-04-01T23:20:00.002+08:00

For teens around my age, we probably already know that this world isnt a nice place, and the recent bout of events that happened around me has reaffirmed my stand that we live in an environment where we constantly strive to achieve the best out of everything, but often the desired results, well, it just doesnt cease to dampen our hopes.

Human struggles are apparent throughout the world. With the red madness going on in thailand, the myanmmar political unfairness, we somehow overlook the similar little problems that are around us. I fear for the future bunch of highly educated kids. Though they seem to have surpasses previous generations in terms of intellect, or if you wanna call it the 'smartness' that MOE defines for us(that could probably not be entirely true since most of us rely on memorisation anyway), it really really seems that they have failed to understand the expected values of human nature that hold the social fabric together, tolerance, integrity, respect, just to name a few.

Perhaps if i could find just one adjective to describe such people, i think the root of the problem would be selfishness. I mean, its not their fault anyway, i believe humans are born selfish. No one, completely no one, has done everything in their lives soley for the benefit of others. There would be many instances in life where we just have to squeeze other people out of the benefits of whatever we are doing, just to attain that goal. We do not care what happens on the way to achieving the goal, if i want it done, it has to be done, no matter what the circumstances. Ignoring friendships, personal beliefs or whatsoever, humans have degraded themselves to be immoral creatures. Though im not a christian, i agree with the bible that says everyone is a sinner. Its a short sentence loaded with truckloads of meaning within it, how cool is that?

Perhaps i've come to realised why i seldom take sweets, maybe because i dont want any part of my body to be disillusioned into thinking that this world is a sweet place after all :O

2010-02-28T22:27:00.002+08:00

The service learning i did this time has opened a half closed door to what i already know in this world. Technically, its not something that i dont know, but it's something that i would not have thought to be so easily found even in our thriving lion city, or so they say.

So, as my other group members went to knock on the other doors, i went to the one that was 'assigned' to me. Seems like any other door that would open up to a 3 room flat. The previous one opened up to a house with a natural brown feel to it,with that large screen LCD tv, just beside the door. Family gathered round a table with ipods and lappys on the table. Seeming to be well off, still they said they didnt have time, and didnt even want to take my flyer that i was supposed to distribute *shrugs head*

So i just well, knocked on the door and waited for awhile. Looking around, this family must have liked or attempted to grow plants, as the withering flowers in the pots laid next to the gate seem to be crying out for water. Finally the door opened and and old woman with distinct wrinkles on her face stood weakly right in front of me. What shocked me wasn't really the old woman, but what was in her house. The flowers seem to reflect what was inside. As i peered inside, it gave me a sense of gloom and deadness, and of course dusty-ness. The house was dimly lit, hold on, it was FRIGGIN dark, the only lights were the small rays of lights struggling to get through the semi-closed kitchen windows. Plastic bags with clothes and old newspapers were piled up next to a short wooden desk. No sign of any tv or any electrical ware in the living room, i couldnt even see so far into the kitchen, so i was guessing she wasnt even able to afford cupboards to store her stuff.

So i used my semi-angmor chinese tone to tell her what i was here for, collecting of food for the needy. Just great, so im attempting to get somethin out of the poor, to give to the poor? I felt kinda guilty as i spoke to her, telling her about the details on the flyer, cos she probably wont be able to read it anyway. And then obviously osteoperosis woman started talking with the hoarse voice of hers. And then, that was when it hit me. She said she has been constantly donating to the X organisation who came to collect old clothes or whatsoever every 2 weeks or so. She even proudly showed me the plastic bag the organisation gave for the citizens to store their unwanteds. She seemed so happy despite the fact that she was already 'in that kind of state' and was donating to help others like her, or maybe even better than her, since those applying for assistance could probably fake some of the details.

I thanked her for her endless support for the community and i stood there as the door closed. I wondered how many other similar doors are there in just that 1 slab of 3 room flats. Sheesh.

Time to snap back to reality,organic revision time, ciaossu.

2010-02-13T14:11:00.002+08:00

Edwin left a note on facebook to a few people recently, me being one of them.It's a cmopo written by a 15 year old girl who wrote surprisingly maturedly for her age, and also since she's probably a Singaporean too. Check it out:

What the Modern Woman Wants... By Amanda Chong Wei-Zhen

The old woman sat in the backseat of the magenta convertible as it careened down the highway, clutching tightly to the plastic bag on her lap, afraid it may be kidnapped by the wind. She was not used to such speed, with trembling hands she pulled the seat belt tighter but was careful not to touch the patent leather seats with her callused fingers, her daughter had warned her not to dirty it, 'Fingerprints show very clearly on white, Ma.'

Her daughter, Bee Choo, was driving and talking on her sleek silver mobile phone using big words the old woman could barely understand. 'Finance', 'Liquidation', 'Assets', 'Investments'... Her voice was crisp and important and had an unfamiliar lilt to it.

Her Bee Choo sounded like one of those foreign girls on television. She was speaking in an American accent. The old lady clucked her tongue in disapproval..... 'I absolutely
cannot have this. We have to sell!' Her daughter exclaimed agitatedly as she stepped on the accelerator; her perfectly manicured fingernails gripping onto the steering wheel in irritation.

'I can't DEAL with this anymore!' she yelled as she clicked the phone shut and hurled it angrily toward the backseat. The mobile phone hit the old woman on the forehead and nestled soundlessly into her lap. She calmly picked it up and handed it to her daughter.

'Sorry, Ma,' she said, losing the American pretence and switching to Mandarin. 'I have a big client in America . There have been a lot of problems.'

The old lady nodded knowingly. Her daughter was big and important.

Bee Choo stared at her mother from the rear view window, wondering what she was thinking. Her mother's wrinkled countenance always carried the same cryptic look. The phone began to ring again, an artificially cheerful digital tune, which broke the awkward silence.

'Hello, Beatrice! Yes, this is Elaine.' Elaine. The old woman cringed. I didn't name her Elaine. She remembered her daughter telling her, how an English name was very important for 'networking', Chinese ones being easily forgotten.

'Oh no, I can't see you for lunch today. I have to take the ancient relic to the temple for her weird daily prayer ritual.' Ancient Relic. The old woman understood perfectly it was
referring to her. Her daughter always assumed that her mother's silence meant she did not comprehend.

'Yes, I know! My car seats will be reeking of joss sticks!' The old woman pursed her lips tightly, her hands gripping her plastic bag in defence.

The car curved smoothly into the temple courtyard. It looked almost garish next to the dull sheen of the ageing temple's roof. The old woman got out of the back seat, and made her unhurried way to the main hall. Her daughter stepped out of the car in her business suit and
stilettos and reapplied her lipstick as she made her brisk way to her mother's side.

'Ma, I'll wait outside. I have an important phone call to make,' she said, not bothering to hide her disgust at the pungent fumes of incense. The old lady hobbled into the temple hall and lit a joss stick, she knelt down solemnly and whispered her now familiar daily prayer to the Gods. Thank you God of the Sky, you have given my daughter luck all these years. Everything I prayed for, you have given her. She has everything a young woman in this world could possibly want. She has a big house with a swimming pool, a maid to help her, as she is too clumsy to sew or cook. Her love life has been blessed; she is engaged to a rich and handsome angmoh man. Her company is now the top financial firm and even men listen to what she says.. She lives the perfect life. You have given her everything except happiness. I ask that the gods be merciful to her even if she has lost her roots while reaping the harvest of success.

What you see is not true, she is a filial daughter to me. She gives me a room in her big house and provides well for me. She is rude to me only because I affect her happiness.. A young woman does not want to be hindered by her old mother. It is my fault.

The old lady prayed so hard that tears welled up in her eyes. Finally, with her head bowed in reverence she planted the half-burnt joss stick into an urn of smoldering ashes.

She bowed once more. The old woman had been praying for her daughter for thirty-two years. When her stomach was round like a melon, she came to the temple and prayed that it was a son. Then the time was ripe and the baby slipped out of her womb, bawling and adorable with fat thighs and pink cheeks, but unmistakably, a girl. Her husband had ticked and punched her for producing a useless baby who could not work or carry the family name.

Still, the woman returned to the temple with her new-born girl tied to her waist in a sarong and prayed that her daughter would grow up and have everything she ever wanted.

Her husband left her and she prayed that her daughter would never have to depend on a man. She prayed every day that her daughter would be a great woman, the woman that she, meek and uneducated, could never become. A woman with nengkan; the ability to do anything she set her mind to. A woman who commanded respect in the hearts of men. When she opened her mouth to speak, precious pearls would fall out and men would listen. She will not be like me, the woman prayed as she watched her daughter grow up and drift away from her, speaking a language she scarcely understood.

She watched her daughter transform from a quiet girl to one who openly defied her, calling her laotu, old fashioned.... She wanted her mother to be 'modern', a word so new there was no Chinese word for it. Now her daughter was too clever for her and the old woman wondered why she had prayed like that. The Gods had been faithful to her persistent prayer, but the wealth and success that poured forth so richly had buried the girl's roots and now she stood faceless with no identity, bound to the soil of her ancestors by only a string of origami banknotes.

Her daughter had forgotten her mother's value. Her wants were so ephemeral, that of a modern woman. Power, wealth, access to the best fashion boutiques and yet her daughter had not found true happiness. The old woman knew that you could find happiness with much less. When her daughter left the earth, everything she had would count for nothing. People would look to her legacy and say that she was a great woman but she would be forgotten once the wind blows over, like the ashes of burnt paper convertibles and mansions.

The old woman wished she could go back and erase all her big hopes and prayers for her daughter now that she had looked out of the temple gates. She saw her daughter speaking on the phone, her brow furrowed with anger and worry. Being at the top is not good, the woman thought, there is only one way to go from there – down.

The old woman carefully unfolded the plastic bag and spread out a packet of beehoon in front of the altar. Her daughter often mocked her for worshipping porcelain Gods. How could she pray to them so faithfully and expect pieces of ceramic to fly to her aid? But her daughter had her own gods too, idols of wealth, success and power that she enslaved to and worshipped every day of her life.

Every day was a quest for the idols, and the idols she worshipped counted for nothing in eternity. All the wants her daughter had would slowly suck the life out of her and leave her, an empty souless shell at the altar. The old woman watched the joss stick. The dull heat had left a teetering grey stem that was on the danger of collapsing.

Modern woman nowadays, the old lady signed in resignation, as she bowed to the east bone final time to end her ritual. Modern woman nowadays want so much that they lose their souls and wonder whey they cannot find it. Her joss stick disintegrated into a soft grey powder. She met her daughter outside the temple, the same look of worry and frustration was etched
on her daughter's face.

An empty expression, as if she was ploughing through the soil of her wants looking for the one thing that would sown the seeds of happiness. They climbed into the convertible in silence and her daughter drove along the highway, this time not to fast as she had done before. ‘Ma,’ Bee Choo finally said. "I don't know how to put this. Mark and I have been talking about it and we plan to move out of the big house. The property market is good now, and we managed to get a buyer willing to pay us seven million for it. We decided we'd prefer a cosier penthouse apartment instead. We found a perfect one in Orchard Road . Once we move into our apartment, we plan to get rid of the maid, so we can have more space to ourselves...."

The old woman nodded knowingly. Bee Choo swallowed hard. "We'd get someone to come in to do the housework and we can eat out – but once the maid is gone, there won't be anyone to look after you. You will be awfully lonely at home and, besides that the apartment is rather small. There won't be space. We thought about it for a long time, and we decided the best thing for you is if you moved to a Home. There's one near Hougang – it's a Christian home and a very nice one."

The old woman did not raise an eyebrow. I"ve been there, the matron is willing to take you in. It's beautiful with gardens and lots of old people to keep you company! Hardly have time for you, you'd be happier there." "You'd be happier there, really." her daughter repeated as if to
affirm herself.

This time the old woman had no plastic bag of food offering to cling tightly to, she bit her lip and fastened her seat belt, as if it would protect her from a daughter who did not want her anymore. She sunk deep into the leather seat, letting her shoulders sag and her fingers trace the white seat.

Ma, her daughter asked, searching the rear view window for her mother. "Is everything okay?

What had to be done, had to be done. "Yes" she said firmly, louder than she intended, 'if it will make you happy,' she added more quietly.

‘It's for you, Ma! You will be happier there. You can move there tomorrow, I already got the maid to pack your things.' Elaine said triumphantly, mentally ticking yet another item off her agenda. 'I knew everything would be fine.' Elaine smiled widely; she felt liberated. Perhaps getting rid of her mother would make her happier. She had thought about it. It seemed the only hindrance in her pursuit of happiness. She was happy now. She had everything a modern woman ever wanted; money, status, career, love, power and now freedom without her mother
and her old-fashioned ways to weigh her down......

Yes she was free. Her phone butted urgently, she picked it up and read the message, still beaming from ear to ear. "Stock 10% increase."

Yes, things were definitely beginning to look up for her and while searching for the meaning of life in the luminance of her hand phone screen, the old woman in the backseat became invisible and she did not see her in tears.

Thumbs up for local writers :D

2010-02-10T22:58:00.004+08:00

I've got the worst set of the results in my 18 years of life for the recent bout of tests, including the mini quizzes which the teacher gave us shortly after our MSAs. 2nd from the bottom in class for 2 physics test in a row is very demoralising man >_> Econs and GP was exceptionally disappointing, those 2 being my best became my 2 worse subjects.

Which sorta led me to wonder should i have gone to take a subject combi i really liked. Imma weirdo person, given the choice i'll take lit,art,physics,chem and math with linguistics rather than GP, although i know this is definitely a killer combo. So many times in life, we have to choose practicality(not saying those subjects listed above are impractical) over what we really want.

I've been loathing school more and more, complains become meaningless, because its probably not of any use anyway, 95% of all JC2 students probably just wanna take a break from this crazy schedule of ours. It's kinda crazy you know, actually the stuff taught in JC isnt very new, its just stuff thats more in-depth. Yeah thats cramming 4 years of work into 2 years, and this work is theoretically more difficult with its increased indepth-ness.

Im currently training my legs rather than my body nowadays, cos pullups are sorta settled no kick for me already :D its funny how terrible my jumping is with my long skinny legs, perhaps they're overskinny empty of muscles :O im also kinda near to dunking for the hoop at my house downstairs, just gotta push a bit more, add oil add oil!

Campcraft com's around the corner too, hopefully we can maintain the top 30 :O and guitar's been a real headache lately ): And i think its time for some kids to grow up already, how come they're already ____ and they still cant' seem to get their act together.Hmpf.

Oh i see that the picture from my blogskin is sorta removed already, obvious signal for a new blogskin!

2010-01-25T22:44:00.003+08:00

'No one can save you but yourself'

Some fail to realise how important this is in ensuring that we can strive on for the best in our lives,to make sure the next day would be a better one, if they are fortunate to even have one

Others over-rely on such a 'virtue',forgoing all criticism, comments, help, guidance from people around them, thinking that by doing such they can live on and solve their own problems for a better tomorrow.Only until they realise that that tomorrow never came, because they had no choice but to resort to the last solution.

2010-01-24T21:26:00.002+08:00

Heh, Bryon's back. Gonna do some mass rewind, brace yourselves!

I ended 2009 with kjw and yonglak at a night cycling trip where we cycled our way to marina bay from east coast park after doing some research on the routes the day before. Cool experience, cycling along the Singapore routes, sets you thinking on how small Singapore really is. Joined in the countdown the first time in my life with the rest of those enthu people. Fireworks finally went off and everyone spreaded the new year love to one another, strangers or not.

Then it really got me thinking, somehow, how is it fireworks are used to symbolise celebratory stuff. You see fireworks at NDP, and all those grand opening stuff like the Beijing olympics. Something similar is the use of firecrackers, while absurdly dangerous, is also used during celebrations. Perhaps these fireworks symbolise hope amidst the dark night sky, as the light coruscates across the darkness. If so, doesnt this mean that all hope is just temporary, as the nightsky slowly engulfs and extinguishes this hope. No matter how many shots are fired, they fade away into nothingness. Ok maybe not nothingness, they become poisonous painful flakes descending from the sky, all ready to fall into some bystander's eye below. Thats what happened to me during one of our NDP performances and i was tearing like bananass throughout the performance, sibei pain siol.Oh no, bryan and his crazy thinkings again >_>

2010 wasnt a good start for me. I still find it very unreasonable that my first day ends at 5 man, just my luck. And since tomorrow is the 3rd week and i have alternate time tables, i end at 5 too -.- MSA is over and it probably wasnt set at the best time for me to study. Lost my motivation to study and i only flipped through the notes, especially for physicss man, I used to keep doing the tutorials but ah this time round i didnt. Furthermore the paper was relatively easy, like really. There was i think 7 marks of memory work which i straight away left blank man, and the total marks was i think 25 or 30. I thought i would perhaps do better at econs, since its like one of my better few subjects but dang, flunked it too. Oh well, Im gonna make a comeback like promos during A levels, but it has to be better than my promos man, no As leh. Im already stuck in SA with lower standards, how can i compete with other school peeps if i dont get an A during normal tests?

NP stuff is piling up too. Campcraft com is wooo timeconsuming, but hopefully we can secure a top 20! Hope that juniors are putting in as much effort as they can, like nich says, campcraft com was probably one of the major highlights in mah np life, but i still prefererred the drill displays we did on open house and cca extravaganza though.

I really cant remember anything else significant that happened. Old brain fails me :O Oh, tuesday's e learning day, yay me! I've been practicing vertical jump exercises recently after i discovered i could touch the ring at the court downstairs. Few more months and i'll be ablt to dunk. Oh yeah >D Speakin of which, i would really trade a bit of my height to put on a bit of weight man. Its like, no matter how much i eat and how much i laze around and how much i train, i still cant get any bigger o.O Think i must be suffering some nutrient-absorbing deficiency lol.

Think i'll switch my blogskin to a more matured one soon.

'All's fair in love and war'

2010-01-13T21:23:00.003+08:00

man, neglected my blog for one month or so, shall do a proper post this coming weekend O.O

/edit

weekends ending le and i still have not posted, i think i'll really really post after my MSAs, which is next weekend, or maybe i can find some time around midweek or so.

Lets just say the year 2010 is like an inverse exponential graph for me. Like seriously, both JC and non-JC stuff.

2009-11-26T21:43:00.003+08:00

Oh man, blogger has some problem, i cant do my pictures thingy with the post. I realised how everyone is increasingly using pictures to express their thoughts nowadays you know, like everyone using tumblr or something and mmm maybe the increasing popularity of the DSLRs? Perhaps people are starting to appreciate pictures more :D i should get one for myself soon man, so fun go round snapping stuff.

Been one week since i came back from camp, for the past 5 days of school i think i havent really recovered from the lack of sleep during the camp. I dont even bother to bring my earphones to school, knowing that i'll probably fall asleep on the mrt and bus, which i really do. Today nearly overshot outram park station lor >_> i chionged out when the door was beeping lol.

Ahah camp was alright, you get to see nicholas' black and pekcek face after like mm 10 years? >) To me this year's training emphasis was more on their physical side rather than their mental side, thought i'll prefer the mental training, cos actually training physically is rather easy. Mass gym sessions and youre done. The camp was rather well organised you know, except for the fact about being overcautious and not willing to take chances lol. I remember what Sunny taught me during ATC man, dare to do lol, and for all who were there on campfire night, we overdared :X Anyways i duno, its like this is the only camp i attended in so many years, including my cadet life, that the cadets are perhaps climbing over the heads of the NCOs too much :O oh well, lets just hope they'll all improve in time to come.

Advance party was woooooo, tiring man. Everyone put in their effort to ensure a decent set of rope obstacles could be set up, hope the participants appreciated it, i mean back then i enjoyed my rope obstacles lol, we had those advanced one leh, forgot what its called, the criss cross thingy, bet many people have never seen it before lol. Its in the suicide/switch side window era, pretty much lost when the fitness corner was under construction :O But thats only a year ago anyway.

Bam i did the part above like 3-4 days ago, was too tired to continue lol. So my mind is empty about what i should type now. Think i'll just continue as if its a new post.

Open House was cool, seems that the number of people attending are decreasing from year to year. Actually i dont really get the point of open house la, its like every school puts up some nicenice great environment, in the end when the kids enter the school it turns out to be something really different. Not that im saying nanhua is bad of course :D Performances were normal, but the usual 'sehness' definitely wasnt there as compared to previous years.

This open house performance thingy really drove me to want NHNP to put up some imba unstoppable godlike incredible performance for cca extravaganza. Us not putting up a performance has definitely started a few tongues wagging, and how i wish i could just shut those people up man. i cant be there doing the performance, cos my time is over, so i hope that all my juniors would put in their all to put up a great performance, as will i give my all to train them up for the performances. Its time to put my fancy drills thinking to good use. Fiona has some tricks up her sleeve too, back then 4 years ago her batch did some awesomesauce performance, actually it was like the last so called great performance in my mind la. The performance in subsequent years werent so cool :P

I've got so many things to pen/type down but i just cant really organise them properly in my mind, so to hell with it, next time when i think about it i'll blog it again lol. Its NPCC break, time to do some homeworky.

2009-11-23T22:29:00.001+08:00

Its a monumental day because.....................................................

Bryan created facebook! >D

2009-11-13T19:51:00.005+08:00

Nov 13, Friday.

1 year ago, it was like the end of my O lvls. This year, i was having guitar from 9-12. Note the underline lol Back then i went queensway with nich,yuxuan,jiahao and yonglak, while kjw went on to have the time of his life hehehe. Now, im stuck at home staring at my flickering-every-few-seconds lappy screen -.-

Oh well, YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS VIDEO. YOU DONT WATCH YOURE MISSING OUT THE GOOD THINGS IN LIFE (Y)

Some say it's not over ‘till it’s over
Guess this is really over now
There's something I gotta say before I let you go
Listen

When you have a fight with him
Sometimes you cry
And feel sad and blue
I become hopeful
My heart aches secretly
Then just a hint of your smile
Can make feel fine again
To keep you from figuring out how I feel about you
Coz then we would drift apart
I hold my breath, bite my lips
Oh, please leave him and come to me

Baby, please don’t take his hand
Coz you should be my lady
I've been waiting for you for so long
Please look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come

The wedding dress you're wearing
It's not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress you’re wearing, oh, no

You never knew how I felt about you
And I hated you so
Sometimes I wished you would be unhappy

Now I have no more tears left to cry
When I’m by myself I talk to you like you're here
I’ve felt so restless every night
Maybe I’ve known all along this would happen
I close my eyes and dream an endless dream
Please leave him and come to me

Baby, don’t take his hand when he comes to you
Coz you should be my lady
I've been waiting for you for so long
Look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come

The wedding dress you're wearing
It's not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress you’re wearing, oh, no

Please be happy with him
So that I can forget you
Please forget how miserable I looked
It's going to be unbearably hard for me
For a long while to come

2009-11-05T21:32:00.002+08:00

Yesssss Monday is OP!!! Finally oral presentation is here, after that PW is over!

PW would be ALL OVER. WOOOO.

Which means no more slack timetables la, sian. ): I dont know what to blog about, life's been so boring with OP about. My school stupidly has timetable during OP prep period. We come to school at 8, take attendance and then its like what, free time table the whole day -.- There was even this day i went back at 10+.Lame. Other schools have their like school days off already, they just prepare on their own time. Everyone comes to school just for attendance, the dumb thing is that they've already issued our term 4 report cards already ._.

Was checkin my holiday schedule and mymy it sure is packed. woooooo. at least it wont be a period of long boring holidays like the post o levels -.-

Would blog again when i got more interesting stuff going on in my life. >)

2009-10-26T21:27:00.006+08:00

Out.Burst.Its been long, like 9 or 11 months? Hi really-pissed Bryan. At least thats good news, means i wont be seeing him for quite awhile after i cool down.

Its my fault for my rage, not yours, dont worry.

Boomz.

Perhaps i just need to shoot a few hoops, take a break from everything else, NPCC, studies, holiday homework, PW, proposal vetting.........

2009-10-25T16:48:00.003+08:00

I've just been reminded of the dire situation that Singapore is in.

Not about the water shortage problem im doing for my project work, but instead of how can we place our future government in the hands of the current group of youths, probably me included.

Newspapers and all keep raising the matters of the youths becoming more and more disorgansed in mentality and 'uncouth' even though they are supposedly becoming smarter. Maybe cos of the deeper and more difficult topics being taught to the lower levels of education, but somehow i find that allowing kids to use calculator in primary school would somehow make them more stupid lol.

No arguments to back my claim ( oh no gp fail ) but i guess we can all see it happening more or less. But who's fault is it anyway, parents? Probably, i think all those people like parents, student leaders or those with 'power' are becoming more and more lenient with their underlings, and the problem of these underlings climbing over the top of these leaders head has caused an even more terrible problem of a permanent change in mentality to future generations,somehow :O Its like a snowball effect you know, this generation A releases its hold a little on the next generation B, when its time for generation B to run the show, generation B releases a little on generation C, and it keeps stacking until control becomes total release.

We could probably blame the world for improving so much you know. For example, last time back in those post world war days where everything was like under shortage, even teens treasued water and stuff. Of course, not anymore. Back then teens werent the ones fighting, it was the adults who rioted here and there for a whole variety of reasons. Life was simple without conflict cos everything was really simple man. No blogs to scold each other, family and personal values were still strong, tolerance was probably stressed upon by parents since they were living in the sensitive period where fights between various groups of people were easily started. Man, i think its not happening only to our Singapore, i have this feeling that this is a global phenomenon, maybe im wrong, dont know much about other countries cos im not staying overseas duh. Of course, we cant say that the future generations would definitely leave a stigma on mankind's history, maybe they'll invent some 1337 thingy to allow us to really have space travel you know, like REAL space travel where normal civilians like us can board some random space ship and go around maybe the earth-moon orbit? lol, not that its not available now but very expensive. Lets just all pray that the lion city would not become some other old dirty,stray cat in the streets in future.

On a sidenote, i've not talked about my final exam results. Bow down to the presence of greatness, a slacker like me got 64/80 rank points woooo, 63.75 if you wanna be exact. A BBDCB secured me a place for promotion to J2, with a B grade for econs, with a score being the top 4% of the cohort who took H1 economics as a subject. WAHAHAHAHA of course i cant get cocky and all. D for physics was like duh, really tired of doing badly for physics over and over again man, im waiting for the day where i can go back nanhua and break the news to mr wee that i got an A for physics lolol. Of course, my hopes at the start of the year for taking kickass H3 physics were dashed, i mean they were sort of 'dashed' like during the mid 2nd quarter of the year :X H3 physics is difficult, but its definitely much more fun than H2 physics can -.- A person like me goes for whatever is fun wahahaha, within limits that is. C for GP is >_>, A levels must get A wooooo. i didnt see my percentile for GP though, but its probably in the 90+ range too muah hahaha. At least i hope so, but i shouldnt be too happy about it though, i think SA's GP is of a lower standard as compared to other schools? Duno. Oh yeah, and if i were to include my higher mother tongue score into my overall score, it would pull my final grade down instead of pushing it up. How wonderful -.- All juniors who happen to be at my blog reading this post for whatever reason, HIGHER MOTHER TONGUE (CHINESE) MUST GET AS HIGH AS POSSIBLE, BUT MUST DEFINITELY PASSSSSSSSSSSSS.

Oh yeeeeah, tennis later. >) man i suddenly feel like taking some hiphop lessons during the holidays lol

2009-10-17T11:44:00.001+08:00

Met a whole group of NHHS chinese teacher while dinnering with chowler after tennis. Benny told me foo fighter's gonna be replaced by CTSS principal.

D:

2009-10-15T21:14:00.002+08:00

Bryan hasnt been blogging for more than a week :O

Man i have been stressing up a lot for the past few days actually. Not because of results, comon 35 rank points how to not get man, its bryan.

I realised how boring or how terrible life is, although they say having lived itself is a bliss. You sleep in the night, wake up all fresh for the new day, head over to school, return home, and the cycle just carries on infinitely, until you start working that is. Then, sub 'work' into 'head over to school' and solve the equation.

And then you get to face all the funny people in life. Thats so subjective, maybe im funny/weird to others. Gladys and Est were like discussing how irritated with people who kept bugging their teach' for their results and stuff. Maybe i heard wrongly, i was so sleepy this morning, cos of yesterday's tennis hoho. Anyway, why do students keep bother to keep bugging their teachers for the results, thats like sooooo i duno, immature? Imagine if our kids grow up next time, keeping this same mentality. When theres like, voting for the next president or whatever, citizens bug the government. Thats like damn retarded -.- Dunch kn0w laz, its like whatever is coming will still come in the end right, like my gp teacher say if we all studied harder, none of us would be worried. If i get retained ( oh no ), i only have myself to blame right?

Somehow, the recent things i did made me realise some things myself. I really abhor/detest/hate/loathe/dislike/cant stand who arent true to theirselves. I know we are all pressured by our friends or society to change. Get real, who doesnt want to fit in,ultimately? There are some wuss-es out there who copy and mimic so many things from different people and stuff they become like errr Singapore, a rojak of everything. I guess its hard for all of us to be who we are cos we're afraid people will shun us away and stuff, no kidding, sometimes i really feel that way man. But as much as i can would always always try to stay as Bryan as possible. Not the Bryan that says 'strength,virtue' or whatever whoopadingdongs in the name dictionary, but the Bryan that 'shouts ME!' BOOMZ. I know people who really are themselves, or at least allows me to perceive that they're themselves, they may not definitely be the most likable bunch of people in the whole wide world, but they definitely have my respect for being original. 2 thumbs up for originality.

I still have so much to say, but I really dont have the mood to type it all here, its just yet another rant that life is life. Life is a word by itself man, you cant match up anyword to be on the same level as it.

In my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what I'd be like to

Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's mind
Just to see what we find
Look at shit through each other's eyes

Tomorrow releasing all results, lai ba >:0 i dont think that it'll be that pain as failing HCL. Thats like the failest fail i ever had in my whole life -.-

2009-10-05T20:40:00.002+08:00

Thought i'll post this for those who havent seen any of my classmates before. Ta-dah, 80% of Bryan Ho's class 09S06.

Last week was really a very very spectacular 2 days for me after the promos. The first and major thing that happened, ok possibly the only thing that happened was the interhouse games. You're looking at the tchoukball champion's blog, thanks, MUAH AHAHAHA. im tchoukball pro, who want form private team can tell me >)

But..... the highlight was really definitely the basketball interhouse lol. I was like 1337 imba accurate with 4 out of 6 three pointers in the first game. We were actually losing but we won in the end lol. damn funny. The other team has 2 canoeists, so they'll be unquestionably huge with one basketball retainee. Thought we'll get thrashed real bad but we won. hohoho. somemore the first shot was like a desperate attempt to beat the shot clock from around 3 steps from the 3 point line la. damn joke. Somehow we managed to advanced to 3rd and 4th placing, against joeshualimzhejie's team. oh yeah, it was his birthday too, on children's day lol. we were never winning in any of the quarters, but in the 2nd quarter i made one shot which levelled our score. woohoo. 3 pointers for the win lol. With 3 seconds to go, i fired a fumbling desperate 3 point shot WHICH SCORED AGAIN. damn funny, 3 pointers are supposedly my worst shooting spots, maybe kjw's spirit was with me that day lol. the best thing of all, we finally levelled. Like, wooohoooo, it was like a tv show man, then 3 seconds to go, the guy who i was supposed to block suddenly made a semi v-cut against me, which left him open and he scored lol. BUTBUTBUT, there were some serious discrepancies, like the 3s really seemed too long, in the end it really was 4.5 seconds, but the referee still allowed the goal. haizpo, nvm deep in my heart i won. muah ha ha ha.

Friday was mooncake/mid autumn festival. Funfunfun with timotheus,cherngyew, kjw and chaohsien. Sorry 205 guys, needa hang around with them cos i sorta agreed with them to hang around, but no worries compared to them we have lots more outings so we'll see each other real soon. Anyway, nhnp set up a booth to raise funds for some causes, something fresh and cool, apart from the usual marshal duties. Marshal duties were half-u under mrs lee's directions, wonder why :O Had the usual crazy chat with kjw and arthur kok, pool after promos and pw, yeahhhh. Walked around here and there. Man, i have this feeling that one fine day nanhua wont be the place for me to go back anymore, like what happened to my primary school. Oh well, i think this happens to everyone as well. You say 'oh yay youre my bestie forever, i lurbz eu loadz muackz' but ask yourself truthfully, how long can this 'fairytale' forever friendship last?

Saturday was Ms Low's wedding, as in the picture above. Check it out, the groom is taller than me lol, 一山还有一山高. Random, anyway it was held in the Chapel Of Resurrection which is at SAS, which is at the secondary school side of the St Andrew's Village (Kampong), so a bit sian lol, but nonetheless interesting. Though im not a christian or whatsoever, i always find church weddings very interesting. To me, i find that religion is like a form of art or literature, dont wanna dwell too much into it in case i type something wrong unintentionally. Anyway, did the usual church wedding stuff, not like i havent attended one before. In fact, all my relatives are christians except me and my family lol, how interesting >) Anyway we didnt stay for the reception cos didnt wanna really cram up the place with the relatives and all so my classmates decided to go lunch and lan. Imagine that, 11 guys dressed in shirts/pants going into a lan shop, somemore the lanshop is like, ulu ulu one.

Check out mah pink shirtz, funky erh? hohoho >D

2009-09-29T20:25:00.003+08:00

Its the not the fall to death, but instead a leap into what i call freedom. Its the end of my promos, have yours ended? HAHA >D

5 papers were spread out evenly over a period of 5 days, with 2 days of weekend break squeezing in between the busy exam schedule. I shall make this post short and sweet hehe.

So after school i chionged home, then headed to marina square with mum. Walk here walk there, i wanted to buy this like damn cute gl monkey-brand-thingy shirt but mum said it was bo hua. sian lol. So got my stuffz then headed to great world city because zara's branch in marina square didnt have the size of a particular pair of jeans for me and they reserved me one for me in great world city. Had no clue how to go great world city from marina square with the shortest route possible so we took the only route i knew, which was to train down to somerset then to take a bus there. Im pretty sure theres a direct bus at suntec there la >:0 got my jeans, then headed home.

Played basketball after that, then there were like these 2 secondary 1 kids who were damn childish. This dude took this other guys's phone, which was errr, forgivable childish acts. Then this other guy for some reason really called the police, no kidding, just because the friend doesnt want to return the phone. wth, its like the police's hotline become some child counselling line -.-. Then after like 15 mins the police finally came, although the nearest police post, which is also the main one in my area, is just 4 mins walk from my house. Like really 4 mins walk lol. Its a super wasted trip made by the police, imo. Waste of manpower,fuel, and precious time >:0

I ish very the phear singkarpour's future ):

2009-09-22T15:47:00.002+08:00

16 more hours, it'll start. Add another 144 and it'll be all over.

Its kinda funny how everyones counting down 10days, 12 days, 20 days even now, but mines so near that i have to use hours if not it'll be 0.666666666 recurring days more.

It's about time to buck up and get back my first ever test results with 3As, but i guess im never going to get back those same results. Back then, i was furious at myself at landing myself here, so i sorta diverted that fury into my studies and poof thats what I get. But now i sorta gave up hope already, somehow, i cant stop telling myself how much i've already screwed up half of my A levels. I know, there are definitely some people who wanted to enter SA and would probably be swearing and all at me, sure, but i expected myself to do better when i was still wearing a pure white uniform with stainless stell buttons. Like hey, i totally didnt expect my english, chem and especially bio to nail just an A2. Let alone, getting a D7 -.-

After the exams, mmm all my other friends havent even started promos yet, so there really isnt much to do except to wait for them to end before i can really hang out. and everyone has PW after the promos so i guess we wont be so free either. To add on, i received my holiday homework already, 6 GP J2 full papers, which means i have to do 6 compres,6 AQs, and 6 friggin essays. Booo.

Hiatus till after promos then! Oh i shouldnt use the word, cos somehow, some joker started hiatus and soon after almost every blogger used 'hiatus' until its like so.... urgh. What's up with that man, i bet no one knew that such a word until that somebody used can ._.

People ar people, originalityplz :D

2009-09-16T14:25:00.002+08:00

Live Messenger is damn jian la, force me to download the latest msn if not i wont be able to sign in >:0

2009-09-06T22:55:00.002+08:00

ahah! An occasional photo making its appearance on mah bloggaye. Been long since i blogged, not that i couldnt find the time, just that when i had the time, which is rather rare, i was tired D:

Been 2 weeks or so since i blogged lets just wrap up these 2 weeks with 3 major stuff, ATC/STC, teacher's day and edwin's farewell dinner.

My first ATC/STC wasnt such a pleasant experience. Newbie me was doing quite a lot, at least to me i was. Fellow nan hua CIs spent the whole of 2nd day from around 10-5 doing up the campfire structure. Apparently 2 fireballs instead of one puts on more than 100% extra workload lol. Anyway on top of PT,campfire, i was also assigned duties as a group IC. Meh, i knew it would be tiring but hopefully i hoped my group managed to sense my presence lol. Was pretty much mia most of the times and had an external CI to cover up, shame on me main group IC :X Debriefs to 1am was ok, i cant believe i didnt bathe on the 1st day la. So yucky lol, too tired. Besides, after debrief and before sleeping, went over to the sec2 side to kop supper lol. Saw 3 fellow saints, 1 of whom i swore i have never seen before in school o.o Realised the stuff im typing here arent really flowing smoothly with one another, trying to recall the fragments lost in my mind lol. Oh yeah and bumboat rides are fun man, i dont mind riding up and down riding up and down for like 4-5 trips. The wind blowing through one's hair, and making it messy though, is the bestest best ecstasy >) its like cycling down a hill at infinite miles per hour without crashing in the end. Campfire was er, ok. Not much to elaborate, but hopefully if we're in charge of campfire again next year, i wanna do some imba campfire so good it redefines campfire man. Oh ya and the sua ku me who have never slept on double decked beds before slept on the top deck. Dumb me had problems climing up/down ._. i had trouble climbing up cos i didnt wanna step on the bed below and dirty it and the ladder's like shaky. Its tough coming down cos i didnt wanna wake up the rest as im an early waker :D

Thats pretty much for STC, dont think i'll be forgetting it anytime soon.Teacher's day! i really really didnt wanna go to school cos i felt it was rather stupid, but it turned out RATHER ok. Personally i felt councillors' dance was comparable with dance society's dance leh, just that dance society's dance had some veh cute math teacher dancing to nobody. Oh yeah, before the concert there was this phail ACES day. sadded, when is moe going to scrap it :O nothing much during the concert, pretty much most of the time was wasted on giving out funny awards to teachers, e.g. energizer bunny award or somethin. Then NHSA went back to our alma mater in one big swarm but we didnt enter the school in one whole gang la, if not more fun lol. I pretty much spent most of the time playing basketball, paiseh teachers, but its not like i hardly see them anyway, i go back to NP regularly :D so yeah, but like i always say, its great to see your cohort coming back again, seeing familiar faces is always a comfortable feeling. After that dinnered with 205, then the following day went to yijo's house to play the awesomesauce rockband. wooo fun, perhaps i should persuade my mum to get one, just nice 4 players for my family lol.

Edwin's farewell dinner! Yay 45mins late, paiseh ar cos debrief was rather long :O Went over to vivo's dian xiao er for family feast set thingy. 15 people went with nich and yongtat missing. booo. Anyway dian xiao er is probably THE place if you wanna find the herb-iest food in Singapore. Its like the roast duck is so totally totally different from all the roast ducks i've eaten all my life. Sweet roask duck leh, chi guo ma? The soups also very very real, seems like lesser or negligible msg has been used. Either that or producers have gotten smarter and invented MSG that can fool my tastebuds. Ate till like almost 9, then headed over to Edwin's new house at The Botania for semi-serious discussion. Gave Edwin his farewell pressie,a very very nice man u jacket/cardigan as he calls it, i dont know too lol. Its really nice ok, im not a fan of any football clubs but i still find it nice.Anyway, The Botania is situated in some veh ulu place, almost away from civilisation. Couldnt spot nor smell any NTUC in the vicinity, jialat lol. Saw Edwin bro's OCS sword thingy. Damn cool can. Think they said they engrave your name on the sword or something. Maybe if i work hard in BMT in the first 3 months of NS i can GET NOMINATED for OCS then successfully graduate from the 9 months of torture with the funky sword. Discuessed some issues of ATC/STC then left for home. It was really a great experience spending time with the 15 HO/CI team-ers who were there man, people from various age groups gathering together, so funny somehow :P

Of course many other stuff happened, i mean, it IS 2 weeks right. But other than school, its pretty much gatherings with secondary school peeps. There you go, 3 chunks of juicy paragraphs from my life. Mmmmm, juicy lol. Or not :O

2009-08-18T21:59:00.004+08:00

oh yeah MSA's over for now, heard there'll be like one more round next week la wth ._.

School's starting to get more boring than it already is. Apart from the occasional PE periods we have tchouking away the one to one and a half hour a week, school's really just a drag.

Tchoukball's real fun. After shaoan's intro to the game few weeks back before i started playing it for PE, i realised its more than just throwing the ball hard down onto the tramboline thingy. Its like about counterattacks and throwing the ball at various angles. Thats when physics comes in but argh, physics ): i still am talentless at physics somehow, just cant seem to understand why >:0 Anyway yeah, i think SA really really should start tchoukball real soon, cos they have one potential pro here who is all ready to join man hohoho >)

Actually the workload in school has really piled up, somehow i just can bring myself to complete all of the tutorials and stuff. I needa break after the tests man, the teachers actually know it but they just carry on the lectures and lectures without really bothering about us. Gaa i bet that happens in every school la.

Theres nothign really for me to blog, really. School's pretty much the same everyday. Meet the rest at 6.45, arrive at school, stone for 5mins for the assembly chime to go, lessons, last bell rings, chiong home. Like chiong la, dont like to stay outside somehow. Compared to last time, would normally laze around in school, play around in the classroom, walk the long way back home from school, those were the days when i was really free and well comparatively satisfied with life.

Dont want JC life to end though, i dont wanna go NS. Like seriously, waste of time la D: But other countries dont really have this NS system thingy, probably because they actually have youngsters who are really all so passionate about serving the nation with all their heart and soul but not Singaporeans, like me.

Friday's college day, where all the smart people would come back and receive prizes while people like me would just stone. Then theres also this learning festival thingy where we have 'to pick up a new skill' somehow. Like my class is teaching rollerblading and other classes are doing stuff like magic/ thai boxing. Waste of time la, another potential day to pon school. 2 parents letter, must make full use of it. Speaking of which, i can actually skip school every 2 tuesdays, cos i only have GP and chem and PE then i end at 1. Quite boliao actually, but normally the scheming school always has some academic planner thingy so i have to wait for 2 hours until 3 for the dumb lectures.

So long for now then. Oh yeah, and i learnt from my classmate to bring like prepared sandwiches to school, great idea you guys should try lol, though it makes you seem like some nerd >D

2009-08-09T21:10:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday Singapore!

Wanted to catch this year's national day parade on TV but went to NTUC with mum then continued doing work when i got home. So i only managed to catch Electrico's performance and the pledge taking thingy. Wonder if many Singaporeans really recited the pledge as a nation at 8.22 pm or somethin lol, but i definitely didnt :P

So the past week was sorta packed not with tests, maybe a little bit because of homework but definitely because of EOM ): Boo to PW, an even bigger boo to SA who started the subject if im not wrong.

Lets make a lil recap of near the end of the week. thursday my class celebrated the july/august babies birthdays and duh im one of them. So they got these candles which couldnt be blown out because of some physics behind it. Apparently once you blow out the candles, the sudden decrease in temperature (i suppose) caused the wire thingy in the candle to release a spark which lit the candle again. So since i didnt know, i kept blowing like some retard until my classmate like nudged me and told me, then i took out the candle from the mini mousse they had for each of us and stepped on it >( best way to remove fire is to remove oxygen!

So friday was my birthday woo >) But first, national day was really dumb la. only half my class came, the other half snoozing at home being the smarter one. If i didnt have the guitar J2 farewell thingy, or ORD if you wanna call it, i really wouldnt have gone to school. I rather wake up at the same time and head over to nanhua la. So we were given like 3 hours to make a dumb hamper. I spent like most of the time playing my friend's ipoddy. Then, of course we have the community singing thing which every school does. Know whats the best thing? We sang like so many songs, except this year's one. How amazing -.- then finally when we were dismissed i was sooooo happy that the terror was over. So it was guitar farewell, was so slack lol.During the meal time i was playing basketball while the rest of the J1s set up and prepare for the next activity. Then it ended at 4-5, was supposed the meet keelun but then it was too late, so i told him i'll meet him some other time.

So went for dinner at IMM with 404+cherngyew. was 1 hour late but i had reasons ok,but anyway chowler wasnt there yet anyway, so i wasnt the latest :) chatted with yonglak and meichia while waiting at the taxi stand for chowler and was kinda funny, discussing stuff like how fat chowler is now and more. Then when the zara shirt-clad guy stepped out from the cab they said he was buff. lol booo maybe i should train too,but im really too lazy to work out, last time i went gym cos i wanted to get silver for napfa, then somehow i got gold LOL. First time in like, ever. So anyway since the rest had eaten their full at ajisen already, yonglak chowz kjw and i headed to subway to get something fairly cheaper. Then as usual went over to the open-space area at the top to chill. Sang birthday song and cut-ed birthday cake, together with my fellow august-ian classmate kashin.

So as the rest took photos and interacted with one another, i was busy keeping myself away from being soiled by the chocolate cake on any part of my body.Slowly, our classmates shunpoed home as usual leaving only the few of us hanging around till 9, then yonglak kjw chowler sally and i decided to go pool at bukit timah.

So this kickstarts a new chapter of 'The many taxis' lol. At first we got into the taxi with 5 people, but after moving like 10m the uncle realised there're 5 people and insisted that we alight. Then we got rejected by many 4 seater taxis. So we decided to go for those big ones. The first time some couple ksed our large taxi, the second time we were too engrossed in conversation we let a taxi whiz past us ._. Then we finally got hailed for a bigger taxi, but apparently they charge $8 more for the 5th person.Bo hua lor. So decided to chill out at mac's instead. Sat down and chit chatted then left for home around 11.30. we were like playing at the escalator, cos it seemed kinda funny when you let yourself get lifted by the escalator when youre not on the escalator but on the 'outside' of the escalator lol.

So impromptu decision to head over to NJ to play tennis on saturday morning, partly because i wanna work those lazy muscles of mine since i havent been exercising much lately. Ran merely 2 continuous laps around the track with the sprint-jog-sprint-jog technique and i was about to collaspe already. Oh no, where did my 1 year ago 9min 46sec 2.4 timing go T.T So after resting a while then i continued on with another 2 laps. So was tennis. Me being a tennis noob since i've never played before got wooped by our fellow captain koh and his friend. Played from 8-12, bathed and chilled out in the empty canteen. And of all people guess who came just before we left! Jiahao came popping by from across the canteen, apparently he was back for council stuff. Then he brought some spraypaint for some painting thingy then we started playing around with it.NJ had some corner that was meant for all this doodling and needless to say, i left my mark in the NJ compounds :P oh ya, and we outsmarted the drink machine in some very old school bad boy method and i managed to get my 100 plus at 60c lol. Take that autobots and decepticons! So we played with spraypaint for like 2 hours, left around 2, headed over to golden rooster for lunch. Left for home and bathed again, saw some friends downstairs at the basketball court and went down to play, came home and bathed again lol. Now my whole arm is still aching from tennis 'training' lol.

Tennis's so fun, i wanna play again :D So that pretty much sums up the week, with the main events happening like only on the later part of the week. Next week's MSA 2, and i have test on tuesday,wednesday,thursday,friday.Wait, thats the whole week! and then i have chem test on the following monday. boooo. Recce on saturday, and night cycling probably on friday night, wonder if i can tahan or not o.o

*edit* man, how is it that it seems like only SA is having the second round of tests after the common tests ._.

2009-08-01T21:27:00.002+08:00

After a rather long time, ORD has finally come.

Prep and all werent really well done, ut if you take into account the limited amount of time they were given, ceteris paribus, it was actually a job well done. Or at least thats what the inexperienced me thinks.

So it was the usual speeches,plauque giving, video montages with the exception of having no funky performances due to H1N1 ~_~ H1N1 has really really screwed quite a lot of things up, i mean although we( or at least me) somehow hope to get quarantined, i still gotta admit it has definitely upset-ted my everyday life and schedules. So like a very very very small group of my squadmates came back, which was rather sad cos i got kjw to sms almost everyone. Bravo to those who came though, they got to enjoy free cater food.Chao smsed me around like 12 telling me he just woke up when he should be there at 8 ): Oh yeah, we almost didnt get to use the auditorium because the environmentalists club booked it or somethin but in the end we managed to utilise the auditorium, no idea what happened though. Everything else was cut short, no npcc pledge, no muster parade boooo. 3 hour ORD aint fun.

Sorta reminded me of my ORD, but i really gotta admit with Sunny/Edwin in saying that our squad, with greater emphasis on the guys, are really bloody camwhores >)Like we really went round to take pictures with everyone. TOs, HOs, juniors, seniors, whoever, we'll just pull him/her into the camera and start snapping. Good days good days. Somehow this wasnt that apparent in this sec4 squad, not even the girls seem to take a lot of pictures, or maybe i didnt really notice. hmmm.....

So Sunny/Edwin are ORDing or rather ORDed along with letts,stella and jieheng. To me, nhnp has definitely lost 2 especially important assets, Sunny was the type of CI who was really hard to find. Not because what he did, but because what he dares to do. Sunny was actually my sec1 IC, back then he wasnt that old and stuff, but he pretty much remained the same. You know, sunny wasnt really helping out in the hard skills part of the unit, he was really pushing on the soft skills part. Discipline, attitudem, etc etc. Best thing is he can realy switch between crazy freakomaniac to really serious/fierce/to-the-point and sensical/logical cadet inspector. This, I sincerely salute to you, CI Gan Jia Hao, aka sunny. Not many people call him sunny too, considering that its his secondary school nickname, i think im one of the only few who still insist on calling him with his nickname lol.

The next para would be really a thank you note to Edwin. Perhaps one of my most respected fellow CIs, he is really one damn imba hard and soft skills person. I remember i was teaching the sec3s orienteering during their nco course, edwin didnt even need to refer to any notes or whatsoever when it was his turn to take over. Like wth lol, i had to print notes for myself and stuff and somehow everything seemed to just pour out from his head O.O Hes a really good dude who really goes all out to improving the cadets and the unit on the whole, mind you, hes been with nhnp for like what, 9 years. Thats including his cadet/nco years, but even so thats like a hell of a long time man, considering that we're so young. So on behalf of nhnp, i think i can really say we thank you for all your contributions and all to the unit.

ORD really just means new blood taking over, hopefull the sec3s would be able to do a fine job in maintaining the unit's standard. Today was also my first event after being a CI since graduating on the 27th of june, then i was thinking, would i be able to make a change or at least provide the necessary assisstance of aiding the sec3s to bring the unit up to a gold. Sunny told me sometimes its time to be soft, sometimes its not, but somehow i just dont see myself scolding and yelling at cadets/ncos, i mean, i prefer to settle things the 'teach less, learn more' way, cos somehow i find it a rather effective method. I dont know what im afraid of though, putting a fierce front, or getting angry over the mistakes, is it becaus im afraid that i'll lose control? I really have to say its been long since i got angry, not pissed or sian-ned, and i dont really like the feeling of it. Its like not being me anymore la, but then again you dont have to be fierce to get stuff done, just have to be stern, like B.Lim lol.

Ah, so little things, so little time. STC, Milestone assessment tests 2 comin up, Project Work, and i still have to actually make time to practice the guitar pieces being practiced during the practice hours to compensate for the times i've skipped guitar for NP. :O Would i crumble into dust someday? Nah, though i got all this shit that i've gotta do, im sure everyone else is busy too. Check out amandaang, considering to take up a 6th cca. You go girl! o.o Boo to JC life, lucky its only 2 years. With all the work piling up, im wondering whether i can really afford to spend time to go down for campcraft com trainings in future man :S The trainings are like so intensive, like i remember mine was EVERYDAY after school. Damn tired but in the end we top 30 seh, dont play play.

Instead of saying FML like everyone else, I think i'll say that life is rather occupied-ful if theres such a word, but im sure it'll get better, hopefully. Or
maybe its just that i've been slacking so much thats why im so 'busy' Hmmm.....

2009-07-21T16:49:00.002+08:00

Happy Service Learning cum Racial Harmony Day.Since did my service learning on saturday already, i had a day off for the week and headed back to nanhua with some fellow saints and kjw cos it was NJ's college day too.

Headed back and visited many teachers, mdm poon, mdm yong, ms yvonne lim and lim pei shi etc etc. Since its racial harmony day, many teachers also dressed up in their traditional clothings thingy, like theres exceptionally more this year.Even mr teoh was in a malay costume! Unlike other teachers, he didnt change out of it after photo taking which was frigging cool. Maybe having a child would change everything in your life. Remember last time foo lao shi say when mr teoh first came into nanhua he didnt smile that much, then after he got married and had a kid, he began to smile more often. Coolio. And he still has that golden smile when he takes photos.

Played basketball pretty much of the time, sitting down to chat when im tired. Seeing the students have breaks in the canteen was kinda cool man. Nanhua has one of the funkiest canteen.Like seriously. E.g, the yongtaufoo stall is damn funny. It still gives so much noodles for the 五毛粗米粉. Ok i have no idea whether i wrote it correctly, but anyway they give so much noodles so much so i dont see how they can earn.And then theres also the famous western stall, where the name is nothing but a scam. It actully sells stuff like fan cai la, like la jiao yu, mushrooms cooked in a non-western way.Not that anyone's complaining, in fact, everyone loves it.

Left at like 3.30. Somehow i feel terrible after visiting nanhua. I dont know how i was arranging my thoughts and stuff, it somehow linked to how much stress i was creating for myself.Like im currently loathing tomorrow cos of guitar starting at like 5 and im dismissed at 1.30 like that? argh. Having left nanhua for 7 months, i still feel like i've left some stuff behind that i didnt manage to accomplish.Somehow. Results? Nah, cant be, i've got wonderful teachers who taught me in my last year and im really sure me getting 10-2 points was purely my fault for not clarifying things and stuff. Thats kinda a bit no link to my current link but somehow it all stacks up with all my other worries and piles up onto my emotions. I've made a lot of wrong decisions in my life, some i've definitely regretted, some i just cant seem to understand and others just, i dont know, left some kind of imprint on me displaced from any of the categories.

I've made a lot of major decisions too, risking common tests for cibtc, running for guitar exco and failing it, restraining myself from getting too close to the people in SA. Even so, going for CIBTC, i've actually given up many othert things, not just the time i needed to dedicate to the course.Sure, i met many awesome people from all areas and stuff, but i think i threw away many other possible/impossible oppurtunities. I took up treasurer at the start of the year too, voluntarily, knowing that somehow i wasnt really a person who could do admin stuff well. Ah, im afraid that i cant take the self-created stress man, though im fully aware that all these stuff is created by myself.

Oh gosh, save me. Rescue me.

2009-07-12T22:37:00.004+08:00

Its been a tiring week as usual, i mean i know im not the only one going through the whole motion instead of the process of school, like since everyone entered JC, most people i know more or less dread school

So i got back my results, which is ok, but i sorta feel discouraged cos i really thought i could do better. So far i got back everything except econs and got a DDEB. i mean if some miracle happens and my econs gets an A, i dont think it would make any difference either, cos the 3 H2 subjects are like terrible man. At first my E physics was a C, but after standardisation, it dropped 2 grades. Note, its standardisation, not moderation, means they rework and revise their marking schemes because of discrepancies here and there, then they just kill everyone of regardless whether or not your marks are high or low. Most of the time, no one's marks will get increased ): then for chem was one mark to a C and for math is half mark to a C. kinda sad though. CCEB would definitely be much nicer. But then again, drastic improvement for GP, or maybe the marker this time wasnt that strict so i got a B instead of a U again. Top in class too wooo lol, never top in class for anything before lol. so in all, results dropped from AASUA to DDEB and one more subject. boo to that ):

Service learning was today and sorta interacted with the kids from carecorner. i was attached to 2 kids who were cousins both of whom where malays. Both of them are really guai and quiet and they're secretly good in sports too. Like the sports games segment they sorta excelled as compared to other kids. it was a fun experience handling the kids, babysitting them for one day. Then after lunch i thought everyone would be drowzy and such, but instead all of them started running around the fitness corner treating everything there like a game station, even the feared pull-up bars. ok, once feared, not anymore (: but yeah, they're full of youth and errr vigour, real suitable word. then was water games, and somehow i got wet even when i tried to avoid contact with the water. boo to that. then played like floorball and touch rug with the kids, and i think my class is like gonna spam either one of those 2 games for PE from now on. Oh well, think its rather ok, perhaps basketball would be better >) oh yeah and i started this revolution of something really interesting. Because everyone has thrown their water bombs and all, then i havent threw mine, there was this kid begging me for my water bomb. so i gave it to him and asked him to do me a favour. At first i wanted him to throw it at one of my classmates, but one of my other classmates gave me a good idea and the whole class joined in the psycho to get him to throw the bomb at my form teacher. And then my form teacher who doesnt look like very sporty and those gentle gentle kind sprinted of immediately, amazingly lol.oh yeah and from the start, my 2 buddies had problems remembering my name, somehow 'Bryan' was a difficult word to pronounce/remember o.o So i asked them to give me a name and the boy called me 'Bigger'. Ok at least it sounds like bigger, it cant be 'Bugger' right. But yeah, the name was like er, cute.

After that joined like half of the squad to welcome tyt back after like 1 or 2 weeks and when she is going off tomorrow -.- oh well. anyway CCA activities can be resumed! yeah manzz woo. But i have no idea why i still have guitar when theres not supposed to be CCAs ._. and oh yeah , i found back my file too wooooo! it was put into the inno room when i left it outside last week, so its like since guitar practice in the inno room only resumed yesterday, i just found it yesterday. But then again, i lost my spec hooks somehow because i took it out when i was sleeping. Oh man, im always losing stuff.

Its been long since i read a book properly, like the whole book and i think i should get one soon to improve my vocab and stuff. Any reccommendations?

2009-07-10T22:53:00.002+08:00

Ah, todays such a long day.

I got dismissed at 12.30 cos my classmates requested to shift my last period of physics earlier. So i had to stone/do my homework for 3 and a half hours until 4 for guitar. Sadly nanhua still hasnt implemented back cca i think, so i had no choice but to go for guitar. at least i didnt get niao like siao by the conductor, and i really learnt a lot from todays practice with jack on my left and timotheus on my right. Seriously man, i'll die without these 2 nanhua buddies in guitar ensemble.

Today marks the day where i lost something important to me. Nah not like what you're thinking lol. I lost my file which has stuck through thick and this, dirt and clean, rain or shine, peitongprimary or nanhuasecondary or 1sthalfofsajc with me. It wasnt just a file yo, i mean of course the stuff inside were important la, like my EOM article (inside zomgwtfbbqsibeisiandiao emoticon here), my only piano score, my only piano notes jingyew wrote for me in sec2. still got some other childish stuff. Like when i was playing neopets from way back, not that i stopped playing, but anyway when i was a maniac back that, i printed out like quite a lot of petpets and filed it into this blue file ): so yeah all my so called memories were gone like 'poof'. Sadded. But theres one thing cibtc taught me, its that to just look ahead despite setbacks, ok maybe you dont consider it as one, but you get my idea. gaaa ): The file was actually first bought as a choir file you know, where i get to file in all my scoresheets and stuff, but i slowly used it for almost everything because i was too lazy to buy a new one. 7 years ):

Oh yeah and the guitar resume was inside too ._. After i finally decided to take up yet another shot at leadership, my so called template was lost. wapiang, super suay day.

haizpo. Time to get a new file man. Lets see how long this file can last me.

I fought to the limit to stand on the edge
What if today is as good it gets?
Don't know where the future's headed
But nothing's gonna bring me down

2009-07-06T22:03:00.002+08:00

Alrighty, term with new timetable starts tomorrow!

Past week after the June holidays have been filled with common tests, hopefully i'll be able to get 35< rank points so as to obtain a pass for this common tests. But for gp, i'll prefer a B or C cos well, i dont really like it when my english-related subjects gets low grades. ok maybe im asking for too much but just dont fail on me man gp, placing lotsa faith on the subject cos its like important for uni criteria or so i think.Then for the rest of the subjects, sigh man.BIG SIGH. i only managed to complete econs, which is rather ironic since econ is the subject where you have to scribble crazily. This could also mean a bad thing, that i had too little to write for econs to the extent that i could finish in time ):

Enough about common tests, i've been busy with my june holiday homework too. 12 newspaper articles and i havent started on EOM/journal. At least im done with 7 articles, hopefully i'll be able to finish the remaining 5 by this week as promised to my GP teacher.

The real term 3 starts tomorrow, and soon term 4 would be over and the A levels would be nothing but the past. Lets just get it done and over with man, seriously. The days are ahead are gonna get hectic with more and more workload, especially from PW. I gotta do weekend revision too, like last minute studying like what i did for common tests would not work, not that i had a choice anyway. I've sorta put down my hopes of trying to take up H3 physics, though i've got the interest for it, but i definitely cant qualify for it or take up the extra stress, i think. Kinda reminds me that it sucks to be in SA cos it doesnt offer the English Elective programme or some sort. Friends have told me its hard and all but i think im willing to put in the extra effort in something im interested in, as compared to boring econs.

On a sidenote, H1N1 is starting to piss me off too.i think all ccas in all schools have been banned? Means no guitar (yay, i suddenly dread guitar btw), but that also means no NP. argh. Then its like this friday is supposed to be college day but because of H1N1, they cancelled it and changed it to a normal school day cos the activities planned for college day is considered as a 'mass gathering'. And ATC's coming too, im so not gonna miss my first ATC as an instructor man. Its like a whole new experience, something i'll like to try. agrhhhhh.

Dinner with small group of sec4 friends at queestown area there, around RV. Some indian/thai food which costs a nuclear bomb. But it was a good experience though, love gatherings with old friends <3

Oh my god, thats so gay lol.

2009-06-28T11:06:00.003+08:00

After 3 weeks, its all over.

I must say the 3 weeks have really been filled with ups and downs, and well the cibtc isnt as tough and all as you think after you go through the course and do some reflection. In fact, it has been almost entirely filled with fun, because of the crazy squadmates and funny ATC group mates.

I went for the 4d3n ATC last monday to thursday and it was rather a different experience as compared to the normal ATC in sec2 and sec3. Its like i got to go to the highest point on pulau ubin to see the scenery after climbing 74m without any proper roads or tracks. Maybe can show you guys that place some day cos its like damn cool. Rations have also been upgraded, maybe because i was a CIT or maybe even the cadet rations have been changed. There are like 4 different menus to choose from, and each menu has like damn awesome food as compared to my time's canned food and stuff. There was like black sesame glutinous rice, chicken pasta, honey barley dessert, burmese curry chicken noodle. Like woah, now even the new generation gets better ration food.Then the last day was rather slack, cos they wanted to celebrate the end of course and stuff.

2 days after i came back from ubin was investiture, which was yesterday. Reported at 10 and had dry runs until around 3, of course inclusive of lunch.Then it was squad sharing/preparing of uniform and then at 5.45 the investiture started. Pretty cool cos its like MY first investiture.After the cert taking and the npcc pledge taking, of course it was wild photo taking session, but i didnt take as much as during grad night la, just take some that are enough to remember my squadmates and my ATC groupmates. Wont bother to upload the rest of the pics, too lazy to anyway. Was dismissed at 10, apparently i have some squadmates who stay at tampines/pasir ris. Good luck to them man.

On a side note, i received my corparate tee and my CI polo too. What really pisses me off is that only my squad has a shortage of shirts and the rest of the batch Alpha and Bravo squads have sufficient shirts. So i only have one of the CI polo >:0 then my corporate tee is like different from other people one, cos its NPCC's 50th anniversary, then got this big big '50' pattern thingy on it. Not sure whether its nice or ugly, but its not like i have a choice anyway ):

School reopens tomorrow and the common tests are starting. Luckily, i dont take bio so i have one more day to study. Hopefully it'll be of use.

oh yeah i nearly forgot, i wanna thank mr chew for being a really really really awesome TO. At first he was coming to my investiture to help me put on my rank, but then because mrs lee didnt manage to submit the officers attendance list in time, he couldnt attend and i didnt have any extra tickets for guests other than officers. Furthermore mr chew needed to draw the no.5T uniform from hta to attend the investiture as an officer and he only managaed to find out about this on friday. So mr chew actually offered to meet up after the investiture to honour my rank and all, which well really shows how much he cares man. Mr chew ftw!!! Sadly, hes gonna leave this year D: or at least i think so.

2009-06-19T22:41:00.003+08:00

Wooo i cant believe that my RC2 is over. Its been 9 days of training since last week, and wowzers its really been an experience.

tough as it is, i really learnt a lot man. Not just the hard skills, but more to the soft skills part. Like it trains my interaction skills, from my mini antisocial character to like interactive leader :D. Really la, the course was tough, but i cant elaborate everything, cos its really too many stuffs already. Its 9 days of training mind you, and each day when i wake up its different.

Sure, waking up at 4.25 to polish boots everyday and sleeping at 11 every night may sound seemingly insane, but it just takes time to get used to it. Independent living is kinda interesting you know, maybe some of y'all should try it someday.

Maybe i'll talk about it more afte my common tests if i can still remember, cos i really cant find time to do long long posts like before when i was still in secondary school ):

Ah, nanhua. Hopefully i'll get posted back into nanhua, really scared cos this time its going to be a new sorting system for the posting of CIs to schools. Ah well, hope that the heavens are watching over me and stop playing tricks on me >.<

4 MORE DAYS OF ATC LETS GOGOGOGOGOGOGGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO although it'll definitely be tough, as always :X

2009-06-08T21:39:00.002+08:00

Ah, miss those days.

The picture was taken last year, and boy its more than 1 year old already. I remember it was taken on our last parade. Made a lot of effort to call back every single one of my squadmates just to get them back for a perfect finish to my npcc life as an NCO, or cadet leader as they call it now.Like check it out man, theres like 30+ people in the photo man, and my squad's strength is like always less than 20. Our last parade was also a mini amazing race, and i only attended the parade after it started as i had some lessons if i remember correctly.

Good times aside, im leaving for cibtc on wednesday. Not exactly leaving, but i'll be so busy that it'll be as if im overseas. Feel free to call me up at night around 10, would be more than happy to entertain calls lol, at least it keeps me moving on in the ardours course. I really made effort in preparing all the stuffz man, hopefull the CIIs would be able to see that i made an effort doing so -.- Most of the times the CIIs are really damn jiao, but im sure its just their duties that covers up their true selves. They're just teens like us man, just that higher rank :(

So i'll be back on saturday night, anyone wanna have dinner? lol. I realised im starting to sound damn despo for interaction with the world outside the course. Ah i cant believed im actually scared man, i mean i've never really been scared of most stuffs, like seriously scared lol. Like check out how much i enjoyed sec3 ATC 2 years ago. Ok, inside joke, but this is serious manzxz. D:

On a sidenote, promo test was on saturday. Read some of my juniors blog, found their posts all damn cute lol. Like going to fail this going to fail that. Back in my days i was like HAHA HOW TO FAIL ONE. ok maybe i was too cocky back then but normally i wont worry about all these until muster parade comes, where my heart really pumps. I know how it feels like to be on the parade square, anxiously anticipating for your name to be called. Been there, done that.

If theres too much NP stuff for you to handle, its perhaps its because im trying to find the reason why im going for the course. The other day during uniform collection the CII said it'll help but apparently its not ):

Lalalala, i didnt do many things that i actually planned for the holidays. sighz :O

2009-06-05T21:05:00.002+08:00

Its said 'No one is here by chance', or at least thats what they drill into us.

But i found this quote on the internet, 'In this world nothing occures by chance, there only exist inevitability'.

Which applies to you?

2009-06-03T20:56:00.003+08:00

Uniform Collection is over!

Like phew man, i was totally totally anticipating myself to face lotsa scoldings, but wala, i made out of HTA alive.It wasnt as hiong as nich and ying's time though, where i recall nich was telling me how he got scolded for counting the corporate tee and stuff for whatever reason. So yeah, it wasnt as jialat as i thought it would be, but perhaps its just a warm up.

I reached the everest room LATE, which is one of the last things you wanna do during CIBTC, then we got scolded for not reading the instructions on the board then blah blah blah. Lecture on uniform ettiquette and then finally went on to collect uniforms. I was saved from the new set of square buttons but i wasnt spared from the new badge thingy on the picap. I got the npcc one instead of the old Singapore crest one, which sucks ): and i got a feeling after i graduate from the course my CI RANK would have the NPCC word at the edge, so cadet like.argh.

So collected uniform and stuff then went on to lecture on the course. So i got my dates, 10-13 would be my first residential course, next would be 15-19, then 22-25 would be ATC and the 27th would be the investiture. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY. First time i'll be taking part in an investiture, always see council and student leaders investiture and never really got to take part in one ):For the rest of the days, feel free to jio me out, anyone, and if im not weighed down by lesson plans and stuff or my tiredness i''ll try my best to hangout with y'all.

After that was dismissal, it felt really weird being in a squad and doing all the drills in a squad after 6 months.And i gotta admit, i wasnt qutie used to being scolded and all by superiors after such a loooong time man. But its a fresh start, starting from zero all over again.Hopefully, risking my common tests would be worth it.Somehow.

So mini day 1, is over, if i just add up all the days from the 10th to the 27th, i've got 18 more days to go. If you people thought it was 17th, you should go revise on your summation of series where the number of terms would usually be (n+1) teehee.Anyway, theres this CII who really really really looks like joanna.like REALLY. no kidding man. maybe thats her in the future, like who knows, right? hohoho.

2009-05-30T21:51:00.002+08:00

Yes.finally.wahahaha.The.June.Holidays.Are.Here.

Or so they say.

With the common tests immediately after the holidays, its hardly a school vacation at all, with lots of subjects to cover, tons of topics to revise.But one paper is over though, GP. I so do not want to get a U again for GP man, its just damn stupid. Its not my language or vocab is bad, it really is my arguments, cant stand it. So much for being such a nice person, in the end we must argue our way through to get high marks.

Sometimes i really feel demoralised to study, thinking about being in SA and all, i just destroyed so many oppurtunities that are laid out for me.Like if you're free go check out the SA website and you'll get what i mean. Not that SA is that bad, but the number of successful university admission applications seem to be constantly dwindling throughout the years. The number of people going to the course i wanna go seem to also be decreasing, like the biochemical engineering thingy, or chemical engineering or maybe aerospace engineering. Boo to that man, i so dont wanna go overseas to study, mostly because i dont think my parents would be able to afford sending me overseas too. Singapore currency so weak, would be so hard to survive outside Singapore.Ahh, forget about it, like ak told me before, really have to rely on myself in JC, so lets see how far I can bring myself lol.

CIBTC's in 9 days time, and uniform collection's on Tuesday. How time flies man, 6 months back i was saying like how far CIBTC is, and zoom its so near.Worse thing is, the end of the course is in one months time, and nich told me that its possible that i have to stay over at hta for 5 days in a row. Oh man, i hate staying out of home for so many days, because i'll have a limited set of clothes, meaning i have to rewear my clothes at least one, which is real sick although im not a clean freak.

Ah, since the course ends on the 27th, i still cant get over the fact that it leaves me just 2 days to study. Technically its 1 day, but on the first day of school after its reopened, its bio paper which i do not take. 3 cheers for that wooo.Not aiming for As this time, just wanna get at least 50 rank points this time, and definitely not a U for GP,again.

Half a year just zoomed past like that, maybe thats a good thing, or maybe thats just plain nasty, i dont know. I met foo lao shi on thursday and had a short long-conversation with her. i mean, are conversations with her ever short? lol. But anyway she was telling me about my chiense again, like how is it possible i got a D7 and stuff, then she indirectly hinted that there could be something going on behind the curtains, we'll never know yeah? But cant help but remind me of what happened man.

Rather saddening yo.

2009-05-24T21:38:00.002+08:00

I'll just make a real short post to let y'all know that yes, Bryan is alive and kicking, just that he didnt blog because well, he was either too lazy or too busy.

While i was taking a break from my math revision, i went to google and thought for awhile, thinking of something interesting to search.

'nan hua high'

Enter.

Skip intro.

The first thing that caught my eye was that they changed the pictures thingy that changes every few seconds or so.Well, kjw's obvious 'Dont mess with me' face is gone, my squad's kekenan lurus picture is poof, gone. Then i scrolled down to check up on updates of the school. Sports day,92nd speech and prize giving day, etc etc.

Really sets me thinking, how long can we actually stay attached to anything in this world, really.

How long can you grieve for a lost pet or someone close, until you forget them and carry on as if nothing happen?How long can you dedicate yourself to your spouse and remain true till 'death do us apart'? Just check out the increasing divorce rates man. Sheesh.

Even so, how long will it be before anyone or anything forgets what footprints you left in them?How long would it be before everyone from your past schools, regardless of teachers or students forget you, as if you were never ever part of it.

As of always, Time hasnt been very kind and no one has been spared from the harsh truths of reality.

So I say, before everyone and any one forgets who we are, lets all meet up with our old friends and cherish the times we spend together while we still remember and 'feel' for each other.

I mean, it wont be very nice when, you meet up an ol' friend, say hi for the sake of saying hi cos it wouldnt be very nice to that person, and just walk away.Well, i think that'll be because thats the person's pretty much a stranger already and it'll probably be pretty awkward to engage a conversation with him/her. Msn really screws the whole human interaction system thingy, everyone's 'keeping in contact' through msn and forgetting the basic skills of actual conversation when they really meet the person in real life.

But i think thats what will happen to most of us anyway, no matter how hard we try to avoid being victims of our own fate.

2009-05-16T21:00:00.002+08:00

Alrighty, i shall just make a short post, cos i have chem and econs test on monday and math test on tuesday T.T

By right econs was supposed to be last friday, but the whole class wanted a postponement(is there such a word?) because they claim they dont have enough time o.o sigh why cant it be like the old times, where everyone in the class wanted the test asap, where kjw would bug the teacher to mark finish the papers asap, when the classroom was once so dead and quiet so much so that the teachers would 'complain'.

Actually didnt plan to post anything, but while i was studying econs, i got so bored that i began digging up the old stuff in my room. I found this treasure chest which i normally put all my old memorable stuff in, especially all my 205 stuff. I mean apart from all these stuff, there're still stuff like my plaque from ORD'08, my new south wales medal i won in P5 for computer skills, the 2 bottles of paint i used for DnT which i got from art friend, the customised chibi gundam model keelun gave me last year, and a holder which my very good primary school friend gave me on my 11th birthday, who is now my pen-pal. Of course, there were many other stuff, but the treasure chest really caught my attention.

I opened the treasure chest and checked what did i keep in this box 2 years ago, when 205ians were divided into different classes. and i realised how plain lame ass stuff was able to warm my heart and think of those good ol' times i had.

There was a paper star with writings from yuanyuan, a pebble elena gave me out of a totally random scenario if im not wrong, this girly mario kart thingy yuan ferny and pres gave me for my 14th birthday, many badges collected from the singapore arts biennale i went 3 years ago with mr benny ng, keelun,qianyi,jiayu, kelvin,jiangbabe, eddie, zhipeng and some others i cant remember who. oops :P Various notes bby many classmates given to em on the last day of school, letter by miss wang when she left us, and a video tape! how weird, and i realised it was actually the tape from our video journalism experience.

I can picture the vivid scenes on what happened that day man,if im not wrong we chased presley around the esplanade bay because we realised there was some battery left on the video cam and recorded it down.

Good times, good times.

I remember the day where the last day of school 3 years ago, when the last bell chimed, everyone was crying, tears fell in torrents, ok maybe thats too exaggerating but well the idea is there.

Then we entered new classes, and boy was i happy to be in my class. I was reunited with 4 of my primary school friends, i knew all the guys in the class except dezhan and yangchen, but i knew them too, because i used to play soccer with them during recess. Yes, i remember the times where i once played soccer, mm seems so ancient, times where me keelun and kelvin used the 'triangle attack' formation, which well though it failed at times, it definitely worked before.

2 years zoomed past really fast, and poof it was the last day of school. This time,because everyone grew up and could mmmm think more maturedly, we didnt give each other gifts, instead, we spammed photos. note: spammed. even mdm yong purposely dressed nicer cos she knew we would take photos.

i cant remember what happened when the last bell that signalled the end of my nanhua years rang, but i was pretty sure much of the class went home to study, i mean, it IS 404 right? Really regret that mdm foo didnt mix the class sitting positions, if not our class would be super tight and form a super smart study group.

My days in 205 in a way shaped me into who i am now, and the times i had with 404 tamed me into well, a matured teen. Well, more or less.

I remember when i got my PSLE score, i was contemplating whether or not to go nanhua or to go SJI, and i must say i really didnt regret putting nanhua as my first choice. come to think of it, i remember during registration day, i saw jingyew, who was in the same queue as me, who left peitong in P5 to go henry park. anyway it may sound rather biased or what because if i were to have gone to SJI, i would have said SJI was da bomb. True, but we have to consider, i went to NHHS instead and undeniably, nanhua was definitely a fine experience for me.And many others.

Ah, this is rather disorganised or so, but i remember 205 had a intra-class debate during english lesson with miss poon when she took us for a short while on ' Are man better than woman' somethin like that. Then there was like shouting here and there and yishuo was damn joke. saying many religious figures and leaders are males and such, was really damn funny. Cant remember what happened shortly after that though.

Would like to take this chance to thank all who have helped/tolerated me throughtout my 4 years, and if youre reading this post and is/was a nanhuarian, i'll probably give you the warmest handshake i could possibly offer to you as well.I cant list out the people i wanna thank, cos im afraid i might miss out some people, and that is of course, not very nice.

When the last bell goes off one and a half years later, what would i do? Pack my bag, plug my ears and walk off to the bus stop, again? I dont know, but im glad that i have managed to click well with 2 guys from my class.

Random thought, wonder when would my classmates discover that i have a blog. Hmmm....

2009-05-11T20:58:00.002+08:00

Alright so my 3 day break wasnt so productive, but im glad that i had those 3 days to chill out despite everything else.

Saturday spent almost the whole day playing basketball from 1-7, which really tired me out, so i didnt do any studying or revision when i got home.

Sunday, hmmm i cant remember what i did. oh yes, i think i spent most of the day doing finger exercises on my guitar to improve my finger muscles capability of playing the guitar, and i spent the night trying to do physics and econs, not that it was very productive.

Monday, which is today! did a lil bit on econs again, argh screw market failure man, like fail for all i care >:0 i cant believe im studying such a subject with so many ceteris paribus and other assumptions ): went to weekly gym sessions with kjw and yonglak and then went to queensway to check out running shoes,specifically those from asics, cos i heard they were really good, but since they are to be very good running shoes, they come with very very bad price tags too. bad for consumer, good for producer.

yonglak left and the 2 of us headed to the place next to clementi stadium for pool with cherngyew. didnt really play much, as i didnt want to spend too much money on such stuff, and then headed to lan for left4dead. we didnt intend to play much, and we ended up playing only for half an hour, which is by far the shortest time i have played in a lan shop, only $1 lol. As compared to an arcade, thats very worth it, like those arcade games $1 last less than 7 mins or so, or maybe like 2 basketball games. shouldnt go to all these places too often though, time to save money people!

then we met up with chao for dinner. subway-ed and the person gave me 2 chocolate chip cookies instead of 2 double chocolate chip ): i like the new $5.90 subway offer, cheap cheap me likey.

gosh the school week starts again tomorrow, and everytime before i sleep during the last day of the weekend, or holidays, i'll really feel damn sian before going off to bed. dont know why, but i just dread school man. well, for this year at least.

remember last time i had a chat with mr wee on speech day, he asked me something like 'so, i hope you've pretty much gotten over it already?' of course, i was kinda surprised when he said that. And well as a student and all, i said something like yeah i think.

But then i realised, i should have said no, because i didnt just lose a place in there, it seemed to me that i have lost much, much more than that.

2009-05-09T21:42:00.003+08:00

I asked sally whether she had any reccommendations for anymore online books for me to read, and she linked me to this edmw post where this guy, with his forum name 'boi boi' wrote a short story about his high school crush and stuff, which in my opinion is very very good, probably get get a high score for O level compo writing, if he had enough time to write so much lol. so do take a little bit of your time to read this short story :)

"I thought we were just friends?"

"But I don't want to be just friends..."

And that was how my first puppy love affair ended when after getting my 'O's in 2001.

If you remember correctly, in Secondary school, we were allocated to seat according to our register numbers, and back in those days, the blue desks were laid out in pairs in my classroom. It so happened that Hildya, a transfer student to my school in secondary 2, was late for class on the first day of school. And when she finally stepped into class that day, it was an apologetic smile on that pretty face of hers that I will never forget, not till this day, 10 years later.

I don't exactly remember what she said to the teacher, but it was the chinese words that came out of her mouth, that gave not just me, but everyone else, a surprise. You see, she looked very much like your typical malay girl, except that she was very fair. Thus the fact that she could speak chinese was rather weird, to say the least, at least in the minds of most 14 year olds.

And so she sat down beside me.

"Hi, Im Tim, Im quite surprised that you can speak chinese, haha.."

"Oh my dad's Chinese but my mum's malay, so basically I can speak abit of both.."

"I see.."

And so began this 3 yr period of my life, that I will never forget.

As the days of school went by, we gradually became closer and closer, we studied together, went out together, and once in a while I held her hands, like pulling her out from a crowded train, leading her to leave at the end of a movie, etc etc..Come to think about it now, it was all rather childish haha.

We stayed in the same neighbourhood, so usually after school, we would go home together, except for the days that we have our own ccas. She was in volleyball, while I was in taekwondo. Despite the fact that due to long periods under the sun, and that most other volleyball girls were all very dark and tanned, Hildya was the sort who never turned dark, all she would get after a hot afternoon would be redness on her cheeks and arms. I used to always tease her by calling her snow white, and she always chuckled when I said that.

Meanwhile, we still had our own normal friendships with the other classmates, and both the guys and girls were constantly teasing us being a 'couple' despite us always saying "No, we're just good friends".

This friendship between Hildya and me was hard to describe for the both of us, we didn't consider ourselves to be 'steads', as known back then, but we were definitely closer than just normal friends.

Eventually, we were streamed into different classes in Sec 3, and we happened to be streamed into the same class.

"Hey what class did you get into?", she asked me on the day we got the streaming results.

"triple science 4a, you?", I remember asking this with plenty of hope in my head that she will be in the same class as me.

But she said nothing, all she gave was a smile, the kind of expression on a person's face, that tells you she is genuinely delighted, as though you had just given her a big present that she really adores. In fact, this smile on her face warmed my heart instantaneously, reminding me of her similar, embarassed smile on her first day of school.

This meant that we would be able to continue studying together. The next two years of secondary school was spent with the same joy and happiness, because we were always there for each other, whenever we got down, due to our own parents, school work and stress.

On valentines day in secondary 3, if you would remember, guys would always buy flowers, teddy bears and chocolates and put them on the table of the girls that they liked. So on that morning, when we reached our classrooms, it was a sea of roses and teddy bears that lined the tables of our classroom. Not surprisingly, there were not one, but several stalks of roses, as well as cards and gifts on Hildya's table.

I remember the mixed emotions I got when I saw that, and I knew that it was inevitable that other guys would like her. So after she read the cards, I joked,

"haha, so which guy are you going out with tonight?"

She cheekily teased me," Maybe the guy who hasn't gotten me anything?"

And so I spent the rest of the day in sheer demise and confusion.

I knew that I wasn't ready to tell Hildya that I like her, and that I wish to be her boyfriend, because I was perfectly happy with the present standings. Ok, you guys must be thinking that Im gay or what, but Im not. I just did not feel that romance existed between us, it was more of a 'really close friends' kind of thing for me. But at the same time, I didn't exactly know how she was feeling about our friendship. and I did not want to spoil anything. Hence the fact about her suitors shaked my confidence about our 'closer than friends' thing.

In the afternoon, on the walk back home, she suddenly held my hands.

"Lets go for a movie.", she suggested.

When she suggested to watch a movie, just the two of us. A million thoughts raced through my 15 yr old mind, even though we've watch movies together before, just the two of us.

And so we proceeded walked towards the mrt station and then we took a train to Tampines Mall, where we usually watched our movies. As usual, she picked the movie, I don't know why, but she always initiated what movie to watch and I was always okay with her choice, not that I was a very choosy person myself. This time, she chose a love story, cant really remember what the movie was, but it ended with the girl dying. And when it reached the scene where the guy crying over the loss of his girlfriend, I looked at her's face. (Ok, here you have to imagine that I have never, or rarely done this before, which is to look at her when we're watching a show, or anything similar like that, with the fear that she might turn around and ask me what Im looking at) It might sound ridiculous, but it was quite a tense moment for me, believe it or not, to have mustered the courage and looked at her.

There she was, the first time since I knew her, tearing in front of me, not the sobbing kind, just the sight of tears trickling down her cheeks. For a 15 yr old boy like me then, I didn't know what to do at all, the most physical contact I've ever had with a girl other than my mom, was Hildya, and it was merely holding hands for just a few seconds.

I decided to muster every bit left of me, and touch her arm, which was resting on the armrest between us, and I slid it down to her hands, and grasped her hands. Her hand felt cold to the touch, and so I wrapped my hand around hers.

I waited for a reaction, but there was none. She obviously could feel my hand on hers, but she did nothing about it, she didn't lean onto my shoulders for comfort, neither did she shrug my hand off.

Eventually, the movie ended. And she was still sitting there, with the traces of tears in her eyes, but remained silent. Both of us were quiet, and our hands never left each other.

At that point in time, my confusion grew even more. I could not decide what I wanted to do. I don't know about her, but even as the credits were rolling, and people were slowly moving out of the cinema, we remained in that position, for the longest 10 minutes of my life thus far.

"I really like you alot."

Thats what she said.

I couldn't react, not that I didn't want to. But I didn't know what to say. As I mentioned earlier, I didn't want to make any decisions and do anything, as my mind at that point in time, wasn't ready and certain of what to do. (Ok you guys must be thinking that Im gay, but I reinstate my point that Im not). Looking back at that time now, I realise that I was just afraid of doing something new, of taking that extra step out of my safety zone. I had feelings for her, to be more than just friends, but there was no true desire in my heart to leap forward.

The two words, that I said next, probably made such a huge difference in my life, even till today I think about it, such that if I had said something else, my life probably would have been drastically different.

"Thank you."

Thats exactly what I said, no more no less. And things changed between us after that two words. More like change from her, and back then, even though I knew what I had done, but I wasn't sure what to do about it.

Our friendship didn't change too much, except for the fact that we no longer went out together by ourselves. Back in school, and sometimes after school, things remained the same, and we still talked like we did in the past.

The next part would be the last part, about us in sec 4, and how an incident affected me deeply, and caused a huge change in me, towards her.

In sec 4, we were all busy preparing for our 'O' levels, plus juggling between school and CCAs, it was a very hectic period.

Both of us were rather good students, we had good results plus we never had any disciplinary problems and such, you get the point. However, there was always the bunch of hooligans 'ah bengs' who caused trouble, some of them were smokers and even openly smoked in school compound, needless to say they were infamous and most of them knew them by the Discipline Master openly reprimanding them in front of the whole school during morning assembly.

There was this one guy, Jason, who was one of them, and to be honest, he was quite good looking, and many girls in school, including those ah lians were admirers of him. Comparatively, I was quite decent looking too, but no where near his standards. He was one of Hildya's suitors, and due to the fact that he was also in the volleyball team, he became quite close to her in sec 4. Hildya was not a flirt, but she was quite the teaser, and never really rejected her suitors, nor did she ever accept any of them.

However, as the days went by, I realised that there seemed to be something happening between the two of them. Some days after her volleyball training, when we usually met and went home together, she began to tell me to head home first, as she had something on. I thought it was okay, and didn't think too much of it.

This 'something', as I soon realised, was her meeting Jason after their training, and going for dinner and such. It came as quite a shock to me, why she would go out with Jason, when their characters were such polar opposites, her being the studious good girl, him being the infamous ah beng.

As more of such incidents happened, I began to feel weird within myself. It was as though, I knew that what she does is her business, and I shouldn't care. But the truth could not be further, I realised, I wanted her, I wanted her to be more than just my friend. I wanted to share intimate moments with her. I wanted to be the one to be there for her, always.

I was in love with her. I never realised what love felt like till that point. It was almost painful to see her walking off with another guy. It was a fact that was hard to swallow.

I was desperate to confront her and tell her exactly how I felt. Right then, I recalled the incident at the cinema, when she told me she really liked me alot. I wondered if she still felt the same way. I wondered if I was too late. I regretted so deeply for saying the most cowardly of words 'thank you', when she openly expressed her interest and fondness in me before. I began to feel so troubled, the emotions I felt were no longer that of confusion, but that of clarity. I knew clearly what I wanted, but also knew it might have been a little too late.

This was the few months leading up to the big 'O's, I was still troubled, but being disciplined and clear headed enough, I was still able to concentrate on my studies. During that few months, we still studied together occasionally, but she was also spending time with Jason. And part of me was afraid that she might be influenced negatively by him, and part of me wanted to tell her how I feel.

Several factors affected me then too, the fact that I didn't want to cause any trouble to her by confronting her about how I felt. And so, even though there were times when we were alone studying, either in school, or at our houses, I tried to make everything as normal as possible. I didn't even question her about the things that went on between Jason and her, because I didn't want her to feel like Im her dad or something, trying to control her life. I thought, since everything is still going smoothly, I should just let things be.

Deep inside my heart however, I struggled constantly in pain.

Fast forward to the day we got our 'O' level results, because everything stayed pretty much the same in the months prior to that.

"Hey, so how did you do?", I approached and asked her outside of the school hall.

"Pretty okay, should be able to get into XX JC, how about your results?"

"Oh I did fine too, also can go YY JC lah".

"Hey, you want to go for lunch and maybe a movie after that?", I asked her, with thoughts of finding the right moment to confront her and tell her about my feelings. Having not gone out with her for about one month plus after the 'O's, I really missed her, and longed for her company. During that one month plus, we still met each other occasionally, but she took on a part time job and I was busy training for a taekwondo tournament, so we seldom met in that period.

"hmm, okay, but I have something on after this, so Im not sure about the movie.."

"Okay, just lunch would be fine too", I replied.

What I did next added to the list of regrettable actions that I have done in my life.

While walking out of the school beside her, I instinctively. and suddenly held her hands, the same action that I have done quite a few times before, but this time with a genuinely strong purpose.

She appeared a little startled, and asked," what are you doing?"

I swear my balls literally shrank, and nervously said,

"I..I..Im in love with you Hildya.."

She shrugged off my hand, and I was in shock, shocked that she gave such a reaction. I knew it, right at the moment when she shrugged off my hand, it was as though I already knew the words she was going to say before she said it.

"I thought we were just friends", she said.

"But I don't want to be just friends, I want to be more than that."

She looked at me, paused, and with a apologetic look, said,

"Im sorry...I..I cant."

And that was it, she turned around and walked away, leaving me standing there.

I wanted to chase after her so bad, and tell her so much more. But I couldn't, my feet were glued to the ground, my eyes were on her back, the same familiar back that I've known so well, and the person that I've learnt and grown to love. I knew it was never going to be the same again. It was going to end up in my history as a tragic but sweet friendship. All the thoughts of us spending time together in the past 3 years came flooding back. I knew that I was the cause of all this, and I deserved all this.

Back at home that day, I lay in bed, not able to do anything else. Not wanting to celebrate our results with my other friends. Not wanting to talk to parents even. I couldn't sms or call her. I couldn't even come to grips with myself.

And later that night, my handphone went buzz, buzz.

It was Hildya's sms.(I have not changed my handphone number since then, and I still keep the sms in my sim card, so that I may read it to remind myself)

It read,

"I really enjoyed all the times I've spent with you. I really cherish the moments that we had. But sometimes things are too little, too late. I remember that time at the cinema when I told you I like you, and you saying thank you. Maybe things would have turned out very differently, maybe not. Your a great person, but maybe we are just not meant for each other. We should probably move on with our own lives...

And the last two words of her sms, which would forever scar me,

"Thank you."

So the story ends here, hopefully it was nice to you guys, cos it certainly did leave an impact on me, this story. Anyway the story was taken from http://forums.hardwarezone.com.sg/showthread.php?t=2362430 if you guys are curious, or if my fonts were too frigging small, but i decided to copy and paste it here in case you guys dont like to be interrupted by those irrelevant forum posts in the middle of the parts of the story.

Thumbs up for Singapore writers!

2009-05-08T21:26:00.002+08:00

surprise, joy, sorrow, disappointment, hope and last but not least, fury. threads of different emotions tightly knitted together in our shells, but nonetheless a tad different from each other.

its been long since i blogged, probably because i couldnt find the mood nor find the strength to blog, but i really wanted to 'pen' down my thoughts to like keep track of my life. so i was having GP lesson today, then we had to paraphrase 'ancient' in a summary thingy. then i suddenly remembered arthur actually taught us one word before, so i like searched my empty brain for THE word, and antediluvian struck me.

i was so pleased with myself lol, and quite surprised that my gp teacher sorta like fumbled a bit, but in the end he said my word didnt fit into the context, pity.

im also quite happy that i managed to find time to go back to nanhua yesterday, cos kjw's class had CIP there and just popped by to use some PE equipments. speaking of physical education, i realised my pull ups have dramatically improved with my 2-3 times a week weekly gym sessions. though i could always take my napfa anytime now, i requested to take my napfa in the latest possible date which is in august, cos its like a motivation for me to constantly work out and improve my physique.

so anyway hung around in school, and of course saw old teachers and met many juniors. hung around until the sun set, cos its been long since i experienced night in nanhua. its always wonderful to go back to the old school, though the feelings different, in a negative way of course. graphic scenes of memories flash back, and yes, i know i have definitely enjoyed my days in nhhs, and at least a majority of the rest of the cohort would have enjoyed theirs too. good times, good times. Alas, times have changed and we all lead different lives now

and argh i got back my econs and math test. both i got a 12/20 and a 13/20 i think. i thought i could ace math la, i mean, i definitely need to buck up on my math if i really wanna get an A for A levels. econs is really ._. i cant figure how the hell 'market failure' works, not that i really care in real life. i just wanna buy my goods and stuff man. best thing is, did you know in economics, did you know we actually assume the consumers (a.k.a us) know the concepts of economics, which in a way affects the way economics work, like demand and supply etc etc. bleah, boo to economics man :X i really would take triple science if i had a a choice, although its really a bit crazy.

i just received my PW groupings, and i must say im rather furious about the way they responded to it. note, its FURIOUS not angry. its like they in a way, forcfully made my teacher change the gorupings after she released it to us. I mean the reason for PW is for us to like learn how to work with people, research and stuff, but oh no they just wanna hang out with the people they are most comfortable with. then i sorta heard about some of the politics in the class that arose from these dumb PW groupings. gotta admit, the PW groupings somehow further broke up the class into even more distinct cliques. >:0 boo to that. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

was taking the train home from guitar today, and i saw this cute baby sitting like a few seats away from where i was standing. then the baby kept looking at me, either because i looked friendly, or i looked like i had distended parts hanging over on the wrong parts of my face or body OR it could be wondering why the school crest on my PE shirt has a tiger in it, although its from a singapore school. but anyway of course i noticed this youngling staring over at me, then i smiled at the baby. yes, i know its retarded, then the baby kept laughing lol. then he used the bolster to cover his eyes then look at me again, like playing the usual peek-a-boo game with me. gosh, what intellectual games our parents are teaching kids nowadays.

then it sorta reminded me of my own future, though its a bit no link, and my hopes. and no, it wasnt referring to me having kids in future, who knows, i may remain a bachelor for some strange reason. but actually what i should be aiming for and stuff. For example, i wanna learn my guitar properly man, i mean, its been like almost 3 months since i joined guitar and i still cant play pieces properly. i wanna be like fast-fingered jack, but of course that requires constant practice and stuff. i wanna skip all this plucking oldie thingy and instead jump to modern guitar music, more to the acoustic guitar and electric guitar side. i really like music from all guitars, but when you cant play it, its really a different story. it's like sometimes i really seriously feel like giving up and stuff.

and then it also reminds me of my A levels man. i really dont want to screw up and enter some lameass course. i heard As are really tough and totally different from o level standard. worse come to worse, maybe i would have to go to an overseas uni to study cos my standards cant make it for the local uni. then im kinda worried about being in SA man, its like the school hasnt really been producing good results for the past years. Gonna need all the help i can get from my friends man, if not i'll just be in deep shit.

i know, my posts are in fragments and stuff,that shows that i havent been organising my thoughts lately ):

2009-04-27T20:57:00.004+08:00

maturity of thought.

thats what i learned in gp. thats actually part of the aim of gp, to see whether we can engage in issues that are well, slowly consuming our lives, in a sense. and somehow, i finally see why this subject is so important, though it is like effing hard to score. like i got the grade UNGRADED for my first gp test, which was really wtf cos i thought i could get at least a C or D.

since a long time ago, i've been noticing that the adolescents of our society, maybe not particularly singapore seem to be deproving in the standards expected of them. maybe im not in the right position to say anything, cos im pretty much still in the Y generation category so maybe i have a little bit of problems, so im not in the best position to judge anyone, but that doesnt bar me from giving any comments aye?

so what have the kids been up to nowadays. honestly im not really sure. during my/our days, owning a gameboy colour would grant you the upmost attention and 'wows' from the crowd, clothes i wear didnt go pass the $20 mark per piece, and i didnt own a truckload of clothes from different labels, not that i do now.

now, PSP or DS is boring, new urban male and krumplersare like the staples in life,somehow, the mind-set that tucking out is cool is gettign more and more significant, i dono, maybe we can just say that the world is changing.

but, our moral values should be kept the same, no matter what.

basic respect, courtesy and all of those nanhua values should be in our minds, always, no matter what we do. i really respect nanhua in a way that, they actually try to bring across the values to every student, and whether or not the student really benefits is really up to the student himself.

Loyalty, filial piety, humanity, love, courtesy, rightenousness,integrity and sense of shame, to be exact.

can those 8 values be seen carried out by younglings nowadays? i have to admit that,maybe i do not exhibit the 8 values, but at least time to time i'll remind myself on how i should conduct myself.

I'll particularly like to raise up the issue on the internet, be it blogs, forums, news pages, etc etc.

More and more teens are starting to share their lives with the web, including myself, not that it is in anyway wrong. We do have an option to lock the blog and limit the people whom we want to expose our lives to, but i choose not to.

Why?

Because i know what im posting, i try not to hurt others or ruin their images, i dont talk bad about them, i dont complain about others in front of world because that wont be really nice. But then again its not only about others why i blog carefully.Of course, i cant really leak out much personal stuff about myself, i just post what i think is well, good to remember.

Because i really use this blog as an online diary, and when i have the time, i would flip around my archives and check out of the foolish antics i've once done, or am still doing.

But many others out there rant and complain and scold and discriminate and 'publicise' and do all the wrong things that we shouldnt really bring out to the web. Fine, a little ranting here and there, ranting about homework is find, ranting about how mean your teacher is for throwing so much homework at you is fine, BUT ranting about your teaching, in terms of him being a person and all, is really a very unpleasant thing to do.

so it all boils down to the fact that, comments on others should never be brought out to the web. praises and compliments are fine, but insulting and discriminating others could possibly content to be included in 'the 7 deadly sins', though i must say, im not sure what the 7 deadly sins are, go check out the bible lol.

Yes, maybe the blog is a platform of freedom of expression.But i think we really have to consider the feelings of the other party/people before just mindlessly typing out whatever that comes to our mind first.

Perhaps values just have to be known and understood and not carried out, thus the values we should live our lives by seem to have vanished into a wormhole of no return.

Shall leave this incomplete. chemistry, here i come. i know i left most points i have hanging, but dont really have time to really elaborate on them.

Pity.

2009-04-24T23:49:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was like the best day of my life ever since school started.

so i really gotta be honest, i didnt feel like going back at first cos all my friends were ac/nj/hc then i was the only saint, but im glad i really went.

so i ended school at 1, and then stoned/did tutorials until like 3.30 cos my other fellow nhsa people still had lessons. then went down to bukit timah cos most of them were 407 and went to meet up with other fellow 407ians. so was with chao,zijian,yeeching and chunyung. then headed down to nanhua on 184 and reached school around like 6.

met up with the other 205 guys and did lotsa crazy stuff and i was like really high, cos i kinda like surpress all this when im in sa :X then cos the guys wanted to play ball but there was no ball, so went to borrow mr chan's key, as usual :)

then went to PE room, 401 peeps and yangchen and yudao was there so in the end some were playing soccer and some were playing basketball. actually wanted to go up to see our fellow classmates receive prizes but we got chased down cos there was 'not enough seats somehow'.

so played played until i was sweaty and all, somemore in my uniform. i broke a SA school rule, played ball games in uniform lol. but, who cares!!???!? then after when all the prize winners came down finally, there was like mass photo taking spree with most people.

then after all the chatting with teachers like mdm yong,mr wee and ak, headed over to kfc for supper cum dinner with 404 and ak. sorry for the 205 peeps man, i decided to go with the 404 people cos i felt that it would be harder to gather the 404 people rather than the 205 people, so when there was like a 404 thingy, just had to go for it lol.

so the 23 of us swarmed into KFC chasing away 2 tables of people. so chitted chatted and took photos, again. lol this is random, but its the first time, i actually heard so much of zhiqing's voice.then i was like thinking, since yudao, zhiqing, juliana and me are in like guitar, maybe next year during the march or june holidays can organise combined school guitar camp. that'll be interesting, but its so far away :O

then headed home, and i actually didnt wanna sleep cos i didnt want the day to end. what a childish thought lol. i know i go back to nanhua every week for np, but thats a totally different feeling. Speech day today is special cos everyone came back man, ok not everyone, but most people. seeing like your batch people again, priceless, really. cos you dont know them, but somehow you feel glad to see them. haizpo, i really wanna turn back time to all my unhappy and happy times in nanhua.

can you people send me the photos taken to me?dont force me to create a facebook account leh D:

2009-04-20T21:15:00.003+08:00

in case you've been living deep in a well like me, i bet you must not have seen this video. this is truly amazing. like chao says,The Woman Who Shut Up Simon Cowell. Very very powder-ful voice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

paiseh, cannot embed the video lol.

edit: i just discovered from my retainee classmate that i've got a combinations of one of the few not so good teachers in school. drats.

2009-04-19T20:08:00.004+08:00

man PW is starting to be a pain in the ass.

ohkay, this week did the 2nd draft for PI, hopefully the one left would be the final draft :X. why cant they give a easier topic like groundbreakers and stuff. on first look, conservation seemed easy but i know its actually much harder than it looks >:0

anyway. the highlight for this week shall be the council commendation which was on wednesday! not that its a good thing, nor a bad thing. ok the dumb thing is i had to make my OWN way to saint andrews cathedral from my school. which is rather dumb actually. i mean, its not like this so called handing over ceremony concerns me anyway. a lot of people didnt come to school too, cos the whole day i only had 1 hr 15 mins of lesson, which is dumb. but it was a good experience anyway. though im not a christian, i find it rather cool to be part of such a ceremony, unlike many other people who totally did not respect the religion. tsk tsk. like when the bishop say ' let us pray' then still chit chat, read books. boo to that.

but anyway religion is more than just a religion man. i find it like some form of art. i mean its something thats worth apprieciating in our world. not just christianity, any other religion too. all of them are cool, but im fine being a free thinker :) since we ended at 12.20 ( 20 mins late >:0) of course i headed back to nan huaz.

weekend was just a chilling out time for me. during my secondary school days, i hated holidays and lamented how boring/entertainment-less they are, but after coming to JC, i really really look forward to days where i could just stay away from potong pasir.i really still am waiting for the day i'll regret saying this but oh well.maybe i would realise what i have really lost after i finally leave the school.

so went to weekly gym sessions with kjw and yonglak and queesway at his grandmother's condo. also met mr chan on the way there, again. i think he stays around there, saw him at that area twice already.

after that headed to klin's house for mini gathering with ed,kailun,kelvin, yishuo,xiahao. went to bukit panjang plaza to da bao this whole honey glazed chicken which was quite cool. and of course nutrisoy. oh yeah high in protein :D but klin says too much soya bean would make one feminine. oh noz. oh well, high in protein YEAH! and i didnt know bukit panjang plaza was like such a happening place, thought it'll be those ulu ulu semi-dead malls. but it was like super packed with lotsa shops like cafe cartel and your friendly neighbourhood kopitiam lol. awesome~

so we all sat around the table for dinner, and i know this sounds weird, but it felt like a family dinner lol. not that my family's not important, but its like its nan de for us to actually find the time to sit down just to have dinner. not that we dont have workload, but we choose to spend our time like this. maybe we'll all fail our A levels, but thats far away. hopefully o.o but yeah, gatherings are coolfabulousfantasticsuperduperbrilliantawesomebagussweetnicefun~~

not sure whether i mentioned before, but i realised theres always something for me to look forward to every week. 2 weeks ago it was sports day (because there was a half day), then it was council commendation( cos its half day again) and for this week, it'll be speech day. i know its disheartening not to receive anything :( but i'll still go back :D i mean although if there really is nothing for me to look forward to each week, theres always np!maybe this is how every of my week passes so fast.

ok,maybe if my weeks past too fast, i'll regret in time to come for them not slowing down :O

2009-04-12T14:23:00.002+08:00

ohkay yesterday i went tampines 1 mall, which is at the other end of singapore, and i think it was a worthwhile trip. of course, i went to uniqlo *_*

up till now i still dont understand why theres such a hugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee crowd at the store, probably because of the stores unique way of advertisement. but i must say the stuff there are rather cool. other shops at tampines 1 are cool too, there was this cardigan that costs like 46+? wanted to buy but i think it was overpriced? not sure will check out the prices when i have the time.

so the long queue outside uniqlo is actually like a scam, the queue moves really fast. i queued for like 15 mins only, then i zoomed over to the printed tees section. some of the printed tees are ohkay, but i didnt get them in the end cos i think my mum would nag at me for getting them. so i just went to get the standard polo tees and in the end bought one brown one. met ak and sis there too. then we queued up for the fitting room.he told me that LV was the no.1 desired brand in japan and apparently uniqlo is 2nd,maybe explains the horde of peepo. The actual killing queue is not the one outside the store but the fitting room one. damn killer i tell you. anyway there was this long sleeve black shirt that read something like tonight the stars, tomorrow the moon. had this disco feeling to it, wanted to buy but didnt feel like spending too much monayeeee. maybe i would hop over there again next week. trained back home, which was super extremely monotonous >:0.

Anyone wanna go again this coming weekend? :D and woo tampines 1 has subway! anyway for those of you who had time to actually had time to read this post, spend a few more minutes to go to this link, it has this short 2min+ animation which is really cool!

http://alanbecker.deviantart.com/art/Animator-vs-Animation-34244097

2009-04-09T21:13:00.001+08:00

lol this song just keeps playing in my head, damn joke.

2009-04-09T20:08:00.004+08:00

oopsie lack of updates for one week plus!

like i mentioned yesterday, was filled with tutorials, homework, cca and other stuff so yeah. but the workload isnt really that much, its just that i always feel tired much more easily nowadays,probably because age is catching up :(

shall just post what i can remember, though i cant really remember much. Sunday went down to AJ's Family Day thingy, where i think they celebrated their x number of years anniversary. saw many people, many nanhuarians too. saw some fellow saints, but i dont know them, but one of them was chowler's classmate. didnt actually participate in any of the carnival games (sorry ferny :P) cos i really didnt feel like spending money unecessarily. economic crisis D: maybe cos i did on the current subprime economics crisis for my pw's PI, so i understand how jialat we are now. ok actually not, just that i didnt feel like spending money at all. As i mentioned before, AJ has a really nice homely environment and i'll definitely reccommend juniors to go there. sometimes i wonder why i didnt want to go AJ, i mean i dont mind being in arts stream. 8 points cannot go their science stream ): but anyway its over. yes their campus is a bit old, but i think thats alright la, apart from the fact that their lecture theatre aircon a bit cmi, from what i've heard. so chatted with old friends, then headed home.

i also received my new ezlink card 2 days ago! the dumbest ever dumb dumb thing is that they used my p1 photo for my new ezlink card. so the photo had my chubby chubby cute cute baby face :D best thing is, next to the photo, it is written, tertiary/pre-u student. damn joke. but at least they didnt use my p5 one, so kuku, not cute anymore. i thought they'll use the new J1 photo la o.o

Next big thing was today i guess, which was sports day. i dont know about sports days in other JCs, but what the hell! there was only ONE event. ONE. for 3 hours we're supposed to sit there and watch ONE event, 10X200. then i finally understood why just one race event could take 3 hours.because, the heats and the actual thingy was carried out today. somemore the sports day was so disorganised la, the gallery at first even had no space cos they didnt efficiently make use of the gallery, maybe they must be thinking the gallery is very very big. but the track and gallery area is a nice place. guitar camp me chunyung chowler we went to the gallery steps and stared into the night skies and of course, the expressways lol, which was right behind the other end of the track.

but anyway, people were like having breakfast when the events were carried out, people were playing basketball, including yours truly and people were like running about the whole school compounds la. then they only take attendance once which is during the start, unlike nanhua. so take already can run away :D but decided to play basketball in the hall, which was actually against the school rules, but heck. its not like basketball was having training or something. then went to bukit timah to lan and watch them play pool, cos as again, i didnt want to spend money *_* now im like on ultimate money saving spree. awesome, next time can buy more clothes :)

but all in all, sports day was kinda screwed la, seriously lol. they should hold a interclass games day too, heard from the retainee in my class that there are no interclass games one, so lousy. but actually quite understandable i suppose, since one JC has sooo many classes. i think my batch has 30+ classes, dont really know.

boring post, yah yah i know. wahhh the phrase reminds me of mr wee 'ya ya iiiiiiii know ' :O nanhua nanhua woo woo! lol. i've been listening too much of old school pop songs, think many people around me would be like weird to find em listening to such songs :D

2009-04-08T20:57:00.002+08:00

sorry about the lack of updates! been busy with homework,tutorials, PW, etc etc. slacking included :D but i'll update tomorrow! :)

and my mum just told me a lame joke, cos i passed a cold comment over somethign she said, then she said something like 'stop being so cold, it wont help too much for global warming'

O.O

2009-03-29T19:39:00.003+08:00

zoomzoom another fast week for me. think days are gonna fly by every week unknowingly. its like so busy until you actually wont really know how much time has actually passed.and april is coming soon already! oh my, slowly inching towards A levels, NS,PW,career etc etc. lol im so forward looking. insert thumbs up here :D

so yeap, i have gotten back all my MSA results. yay 3 borderline As (: but i still cant compete with the other peeps in my class i think, cos this is just one simple test with few topics. think the rest would soon catch up. then i have to work darn hard just to keep up with them. and awh man, i failed my gp. really didnt expect it, i thought i would instead fail physics and pass gp lol. but i hope i will do well in physics ba, am really interested, just that no talent in it :X ah think mr wee would whack me for saying this lol, no such thing as no talent, is must keep practicing, 'physics is a doing subject' .

topics are also slowly getting harder. like for chem, one whole topic just on gases. its like theres so much thing to gases in A levels, as compared to O levels where you only need to know 1 mol of gas occupies 24 dm cube.i heard organic chemistry is rather tough too, oh well lets see how it goes.

didnt go back to np on friday cos didnt want to pon guitar. really wanna try achieve 80% attendance. but of course, saturday i went down for national event. it was ok la, i mean like, the sec4s wont really organise anymore events already. so i followed RV out for their race, and can they run. the desire to win in them is really strong. and i also noticed that RVNP doesnt change their np shirts. but their shirt is nice though, although i think the one my batch did can pwn theirs :D i mean seriously, i think our np shirt was the nicest in like EVER lol. just kidding, but thats my personal opinion. so anyway cos i was slower than them by like 1 or 2 trains, i joined them at clark quay. proceeded on to botanic gardens,chinese garden. so i was in a way super shagged after reaching school, cos they ran for 3/4 of the journey back to nanhua ._. saw keelun and eddied on the way back.also like interacted with like xiuwen, enci and yuhan since jerald was busy looking after the group and they sorta alienated themselves from the group -.- realised arthur kok and mr teoh and mr wee are more or less still the same lol.

One still throwing markers into the bin a bit too often.

One throwing words of great glness to the student.

One still telling jokes every so often, but yet equally cold.

Good times though :O.

and yeah, in the end my group got 1st. like YEAH. 4 years in NP and i havent gotten any pole positions before in any race or event lol.debrief and then the sec3s had mini discussions. lotsa wild ideas, which is really cool man, hopefully their batch would be able to take nhnp to a whole new level.

went home, bathed and then left after about an hour or so for bugis for HO/CI dinner. yeah man im not the latest although i was like 15mins late. ate some steamboat which costs 21 bucks $_$ but it was a buffet though, like all you can eat yum yum. eating with sunny is just a whole new experience man, he just knows how to like manipulate food and think of weird stuff that even i dont know. then went to raffles city to discuss postings. my first time doing these sort of stuff and man is it a headache. actually wanted to type much more, but aye just dont feel like it.

and this is also my first post on my new laptop :D 2.4 GHz processor phooooo. ok maybe its not the best but at least its much better than my old com's one. but the sad thing is that it sorta feels hot fast, which im not really comfortable with. maybe taking a fan to fan it would work :X and i also bought a funky green mouse. oh yeah i think my mouse is damn cool lol.

SA's fine so far. my class is really getting more bonded together i suppose, since its getting noisier. grats to them man. oh yeah i also did my napfa test this week, and obviously i failed my napfa due to my pullups. my 2.4 also deproved to like 11.o4 as compared to my sec4's 9.46. nanhua's 2.4 seems to be real shorter o.o and they're having a class chalet during the june holidays, and the chairman said its probably during the mid june. HAHA then i have a reason to miss it (: submitted my cibtc form already. then theres this guy in my class, its not that i hate him but to me he's really annoying. especially his voice. i dont know, but it just irritates me LOL.

was bored so i went to play around with my old friendster account. then i saw one of my primary school friend's photos and it really set me thinking. i really miss all my good ol' friends from nanhua and some(which i still remember) from my primary school. I just feel happy when i say just a 'hi' or just like see them from afar or photos. its good that most if not everyones fine (:

ahhh, pw is really really coming already with PI needed to be submitted by late april i think. lets see what i can do. sorry if i have my usual mass typos (:

booooo ):

2009-03-22T19:36:00.003+08:00

yes yes, holiday round up!

to sidetrack a bit, i came across a file with a very old msn convo between my friends which was sent to me way back, and i cant help but laugh. some people are just really damn funny AND anticlimax. maybe yuxuan and sally will know what im talking about. dang why did i sleep so early during my secondary school years, wouldnt have missed out so much high school fun ): to all my juniors out there, treasure your secondary school years man. ok this is starting to make no sense.

ANYWAY, this week has been filled with catching up with old friends. studied at kap, lan, nearly went kbox (wowzers), shopped for friend's friend's birthday present, mini squad outing and did a little window shopping for my counsins wedding which is coming up real soon. i found this zara shirt which costs like only $39.90, was damn tempted to buy just for fun. furthermore the cutting was rather nice. its hard to find $39.90 stuff in zara ok, or so i think. then theres this sweater i wanted to get from armani exchange, well it LOOKED cheap but it turned out to be $300+. D: then theres this BIG BIG ARMARNI EXCHANGE word at the back of the sleeves. its like im paying so much to promote their brand >:0

but theres this sweater i wanna get from a blogshop, but im not sure whether it'll fit me, considering theres no refund whatsoever. and im really scared to buy things online, im those type of people who must SEE the thing then will dare to buy. oh ya and i ordered a laptop too, would be arriving this coming saturday. so i'll have audio once again! after 2 years and 5 months approximately. then i can watch all those videos that i watcehd previously all over again but with audio :D its the laptop which was sponsored by MOE, all students get it for a cheaper rate, and the specs are like too good for a laptop of that price.

so how much work have i dont during the holidays. honestly, i didnt really do much cos i was really given very little homework, which scares me because other schools seem to have like truck loads of homework. i even did as ahead as i possibly could, those which were already thought, and i realised there was only one chemistry tutorial o.o neeed.....more.....work.... well, at least it keeps me occupied in school. im also finding like some books to read for my leisure, but im trying to find those non-fictional ones, can improve my wisdom :D

so as we all already know, school's starting tomorrow, which is good! you know, the earlier we start school, the earlier it'll end (: but that means im receiving my MSA papers back. i hope i can nail at least like 2 or 3 As though its pretty impossible. june's coming too, june course is from 8-27th june. best thing is, school reopens on the 29th lol. which means i have one day left after the couse to revise EVERYTHING for mid years. good luck o.o hopefully mid years would be before the june holidays.

also heard that the nanhua system has changed like drastically. ok maybe not a major change, but having miss yeo as your discipline mistress is just "_£(%*"£(%& lol. i thought j.lim would be selected to replace b.lim, but i heard jesselim has become much softer. thats amazing o.o but b.lim was a really great discipline mistress la, she managed to keep the school under control without making the school cohort hate her. she deserves a thumbs up :D

new term, all the best to everyone then >:0 next long holidays are 3 months away. phooooo~~~

2009-03-17T20:56:00.002+08:00

went to jiangbabe's blog and did this little quiz, maybe its really true >D

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

awesome :D quizzes are always just so fun though they may seem nonsensical

2009-03-17T19:36:00.002+08:00

oh yeah, was on hiatus for like quite some time >:0 been busy man.

so the last week was spent on lotsa tests, ok maybe not a lot. at least i have much lesser tests as compared to secondary school. cos like, i take so few subjects :D but then again, a levels are other so its still the same ._. think the worse i did was for physics, not because i didnt know, but because 0.2 somehow miraculously became 0.02 and i didnt have time to finish the paper plus check ): comon la, its only common test in a way, and they wanna kill us already. for math revision test, if nothing goes wrong, i should be able to be deducted of 4 marks. thats if my usual careless mistakes dont come back. and if my teacher read my question paper and spotted my pencil solutions for that 4 marks, i should be able to get full marks! but wth, gotta admit, ran out of time to transfer my stuff. oh chem was a killer too, because we were seriously deprived of time like £"($&"%*(& either that or i wrote too many statements and wasted my time. GP was ok, i think i should be able to get a higher pass. i mean if things go the way i think la, but you know the world just works in a weird way.

'nuff about MSAs, we learnt chords during last friday's practice! ok its rather stupid, i only learnt the G C A chord. i heard other schools' guitar start with chords, mine starts with the cute plucking ): so left school sharply at 6, but i still missed one train cos the train was too packed. met up with mum to change to my camping bag then headed to nanhua! met john, chao, roro and presley on the way. oh and xinyun too. everyone seems to be doing fine, so thats cool. reached nanhua around like 7+? and hoards of '08 people were there, maybe like 100? nah i think thats too many, possible though. but i didnt go to collect the certs with them. had nco camp! but of course, i couldnt resist a lil chit chatty sessions with my hommies. then the bunch of them went to have dinner outside D:

then it was NCO CAMP. rather awesome i think. cause it was organised by awesome people like us. nah, but overall i knew the campers did really enjoyed themselves. sunny and me went out at night to buy our CIs supper and we were put under god's test on whether we could make it back. ok inside joke, but i tell you, we ewnt through shit loads of trouble just to bring the food back to nanhua. when we went back they were doing campfire stuff, and its kinda cool to see the campers enjoying sir cheehoes lesson. like wth 2 years back, i tio tekan by him like f___. really lol, cos i was like the night ic, then cheehoe was like 'bryan, your cadets are moving too slowly!' then i really didnt know what to do, cos to me they were moving very fast. and well, i didnt really wanna shout at my own squadmates, im a good squadmate :D so i guess the problems with me lol. still got some other stuff i think. like when he said he wanted somewhere which was bright enough to conduct a lesson. so i thought that it was impractical to start a fire in the foyer because of the smoke so i sorta got confused again. arhhhh that was back in the past.

so we had 'supper', then i didnt really have the mood to sleep. watched slumdog millionaire for awhile before heading to the benches outside np room to sleep. woke up after feeling very uncomfortable cos i didnt bathe and went to bathe alone. walao damn scary la, i was so scared i only washed my hair with soap then immediately came out. nanhua is an eerie place D:

2nd day! joeshua lim finally arrived lol. cant really remember much, just that i was damn tired cos i slept for like only one hour the night before. then i gave my funky lecture on field cooking. my lesson must be so fun man, so much interaction! i think i have a bright future in teaching *_* but i dono why, i talked until i had like no voice, had to keep drinking water.

oh yeah and sir haris came down. he is like the most ultimate respected CI man, ok at least to me he is. when he was giving his lesson, the CIs were like sitting behind him and listening too, so interesting. but he used a different approach this time, back then he used the PASSION thingy, this time he used c.o.i.n. communication, organisation,influence and nurture. awesome. then yongtat said something that sir haris taught him back then when he was on his way to becoming an NCO. when you flip a coin and show a person, the person would either be seeing heads or tails. however, the side facing you would always be different from the side facing the person youre asking. so its something like barrier of communication, to what i understand. then after the whole nco camp, we went for dinner at sumo.

rushed home and headed to klin's for man u vs liverpool. ok i dont watch soccer, just that i wanted to meet up with the 205 guys. but it was a really entertaining game, i mean as compared to those games i see on channel 5 every friday lol. but was almost dozing off though, tiredness was setting in ): imma gettin old.

lets see whats up these days. oh yeah pool with ak chowler and kjw. funpo :D nothing much happened already. these 2 days i had to go back for lessons and then nothing more already. what a boring life i lead ):

going back to nanhua really feels great, especially when you see the people whom you've studied with for 4 years.it brings back memories of good and bad, but nonetheless fragments of what coloured and affected our lives for a long period. considering that we are normally ( for most people ) at ultimate puberty stage in secondary school, maybe these influences have even made us who we are now. as i've always asked myself since the start of the year, how is it i dont wish to mix around with my current class or keep in contact with my og mates? a lot of people have asked the same question to me but oh well i just shrugged it off. honestly because i really dont have an answer. i have no idea of what i am afraid of. is it because i keep telling myself i should not be in SA?maybe because i do not wish to put m ysecondary school friends to one side and move on with life? or is it because i was scared that i'll lose focus during A levels and screw up my a levels, like what i've done to my o levels. oh man :S

on a side note, i found this rather interesting quote on the internet.

There is no such word as 'loved'.Love has no past tense. If you ever stop loving someone, then you never truely loved them in the first place.

Cool right. kinda seems to be from the same category of 'its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all'.

'Hi'

2009-03-01T21:21:00.001+08:00

LOL WTF

ok i have no idea whether you guys get this picture lol.

2009-03-01T20:01:00.003+08:00

1st week with my official timetable is over!

i suddenly love my timetable, though its not as good as others. i dont have any extremely early dismissal times, and i also do not have extremely late dismissal time. which means im dismissed at an average time everyday! i think the average is 2.30, same as nanhua! and if i chiong home, i can reach home by 3.15, even faster than my usual reaching home time when i was in nanhua, cos i tend to linger around and waste time before going home. my timetable works as a fortnight thingy, where my timetable changes only after every 2 weeks, weird erh o.o

so my msa's coming up real soon, next week in fact. btw msa is milestone assessment, sounds cool huh. but its more or less on topics that we've all learnt before so i think i SHOULDNT do to bad. but i must be prepared for the worse, cos maybe i wont do bad on the whole, but i would do badly in one subject which causes my whole msa to screw up, like my o levels :( but i can do it!

nanhuas having crosscountry on wednesday at west coast park i heard. coincidentally, i'll be having mine at EAST coast park. sucks man, i wanted to go back nh to ask mr teoh and mr wee some questions D: but i'll be going back on friday! cos theres no guitar!ok thats not the point, i plan to skip guitar even if there is anyway :P not that im not dedicatd to guitar, just that i wanna go back np ba, 2 weeks never go back D: and i cant skip many guitar practices either way, my form teacher who is my chem teacher and pw teacher is in charge of guitar ._.

so i spent the weekends doing lotsa revision and tutorials. ok at least to me its a lot.then went gym at kjw's grandma's house.cos my pe etacher told me if by j2 napfa no silver or gold must do 2 more months of NS. then i told myself 'oh shit, must.....train....' cos really, 2 more months of NS is just stupid ._. oh ya, and i thought i ran kickass fast for my 2.4 in nanhua. turns out i got my ass kicked by one hockey player and one ex-gymnast during the 4 rounds around the track. fag D: and my PE shirt's quality is just weird. it absorbs ALL the swet on the body, and it gets dry after a while. so is that a good thing or a bad thing, cos i get this feeling that the shirt will passively stink after a few more pe lessons o.o

think this week will pass real fast, cos i have like crosscountry during midweek.badminton on saturday! will get to take mrt to the new funky pioneer mrt lol.

2009-02-25T20:59:00.002+08:00

No offence to all my science teachers, but i rather trade my D7 chinese for any of the sciences, if possbile physics where i got a B3. i dont even mind having a C6 for both.

2009-02-22T19:17:00.003+08:00

oh yeah, another week over :D

week full of lectures and stuff, except thursday that is, where i had only like civis and no other lesson. so had to hang around in school till 1 before leaving the school.

so i learnt more about my lecturers and stuff. the one particular lecture i really enjoyed and which i think i will enjoy in future is GP lol. serious. cos thats the most fun lecture other than physics la. but its way better that physics cos i realised for his whole 1.5 hour lecture i was awake. but of course there are other stuffs which i cant post on the web, cos hes not THAT amazing. he has his own 'flaws' as well. but i dont mind having ak as my gp teacher :D i know youre reading this mr kok >D

also realised my school has a wii corner, but it only has wii sports, so dont think it'll be of much fun i guess.

another highlight is i got a guitar! went to peninnsular plaza with chowler and my parents to get one. chowler got an acoustic one while i bought a standard classical, cos since i joined guitar, i should get one thats suitable for playing in the ensemble.

then friday had a guitar camp which was supposed to be 3 days 2 nights but i skipped on the 2nd day cos i wanted to go for 404 dinner :D well, 404 dinner is considered a 'personal commitment' right? but the camp was real fun la actually. i like the guitar people, think i'll make great friends in the cca, maybe better than my classmates. but by going for the camp, an oppurtunity cost was incurred and i missed np on friday :( i think many stuff happened just by me skipping one parade, cos coincidentally they had a mini squad dinner and i missed it D: boohoo.

but the camps good. it was a my first leisure camp in my life (zomg no life!), malaysia camp's not counted since its considered to be a LEADERSHIP TRAINING camp. nothing major happened actually, but the people made it fun. theres this other guy whos from xinmin np, but nah, hes not a ci.had some guitar training lessons, and i finally know how to play a piece! but i was in the bass section la, so if i play it at home it sounds quite senseless. then during the night can play basketball during the 'group discussion' time. cos all the j2s had to practice for syf then the J1s had to plan some skit for finale. chowler timotheus and i just grabbed a ball and started playing. then slowly almost all the guys were playing. play in uniform somemore man. sa uniform not PE-friendly, it feels really wet after playing.

also had some other ice breaking games, but the main games were at 3 on the 2nd day, and i left at 3 on chowlers car :D but i left my shoebag with my slippers in his car and i had no slippers to go out. so i was imprisoned at home for the weekend. and hopefully he'll be kind enough to return them to me tomorrow. oh yeah and everyone brought sleeping bags for the camp except me. ok maybe not everyone but all the guys did. didnt really think there was a need to anyway. np annual camps have trained me to sleep in tents and on classroom floor :D

all in all, guitar's cool. at least for me it is.but its on wednesdays and fridays la, and im trying to achieve 80% attendance for guitar. so i can only go down for np for 20% of the year D:oh yeah and guitar's having a japan trip in the june holidays too, but i'll be skipping it i guess, though its my 2nd time wasting a chance to go japan ):

ohkay so after leaving on saturday, chowler's dad dropped me off at king albert park's macdonals and i took 184 home. rushed home and bathed then headed for class dinner! they were playing pool before that la and i had to miss it too :( so we decided to head down to imm for ajisen. didnt feel like burning my pocket so i went to subway to eat while the rest headed for ajisen. but alice shimin kjw and nich joined me, but of course they didnt eat la, then went to ajisen to find the rest. then we headed to this open space on top to play orientation games and took some photos too. security dude chased us off cos the place was supposedly closing, but i guess it only applies for youngsters gathered in one bunch cos a whole group of kids and parents were still at the playground.

its always good to meetup with old friends, though you also know that slowly but surely, everyone will grow distant and we'll all soon forget about each other. but its good to gather while the memories are still fresh, so lets have more 404'08/205'06/nhnp 05-08 outings :D anyone care to organise?

2009-02-15T20:48:00.001+08:00

man my pet looks retarded. 3 days ago it was white in colour, then the lab ray zapped in to faerie colour. now my fedora looks out of place :( dumb lab ray.

2009-02-15T19:25:00.002+08:00

what a week filled with revision >_>

so the lectures started and the urge to be lazy surged through me once again, skipping revision and all that. so all the lectures were held in this extremely big auditorium called the cultural centre or cc for short, at least for me that is.

econs was really wow, every now and then i flip through the notes, i sometimes wonder why people actually WANT to study all these stuff. cos i realised during the econs lecture, half the time we have to assume stuff. for example under the PPC graph, we gotta assume that one country only produces 2 types of exports like food and clothing. then i think again, is that possible? like quite dumb leh o.o i mean there are still other ways a counrty earns money la, like investments,entertainment, tourism etc etc. weird.

physics was ok, just that i was stunned at measurement. like i didnt know errors like the zero errors were so chim. still got what systematic or random error.the physics lecturer sorta reminded me of mr wee. the teaching style is pretty much the same, but to entertain the class, this lecturer niaos students la. and also other subjects. mr wee more or less makes jokes out of the topics.but i still prefer mr wee :D went back to school last friday and last last friday and still didnt get a chance to see him.and also mdm yong D: so i think physics would be pretty tough ba, the lecturer also said that kinematics would be difficult, i wonder how difficult it'll be.

math was bullshit lol. just revision on sets and all those. easy peasy :D but then again i learnt that the week before march holidays i have a math test which tests on ALL the topics that came out for o levels. woo plz. hope it'll be easy as the a math during o levels.and i still use mr teoh's math notes :D bagus notes. notes from heaven passed down to us. i mean its not that the jc notes are lousy la, maybe because im more used to mr teoh's one. cos mr teoh's one is use like different types of questions from the same topic to allow us to understand.

next is gp! i think the gp compre is quite okay, i should be able to handle.should be. but the compo is omgwtf difficult. like how do i write a 500 word expository/argumentative. die man. gotta read more newspaper and magazines too :(

the cohort also got sorted into classes. im in 09S06, same as 3 other nanhuarians, all girls and whom i dont usually talk to since they're not in my class.also got to know my form teacher, whos in charge of my class's chem and pw. wont say much about her, just that a lot of guys were snatching the job for chem rep. subtle hints. i volunteered to be the treasurer, actually wanted to be class chairman but i was too shy to volunteer :( so theres something in my testimonial now. yeah man.my class has no foreigners too, apart from the 2-3 indonesians. 10 girls and 16 guys. the guys are a rowdy bunch too, i scared i cant fit in to them, cos ever since i entered sa i gotta say i defintely quietened down a fair bit.then dono why, the whole bunch of guys seem to already know each other.i've becomed a pariah once again phooooo~~. come to think of it, i realised i dont have enough pictures of my og mates unlike so many other people, what a shame :X and i havent taken a single picture in my smecksaye sa uniform. boo to that.

i signed up for guitar for cca too.i skipped the orientation for np last friday, but i learnt that in order for your attendance to be keyed in, you have to at least attend for 80% of the practices, which are on wednesdays and fridays. lets say i skip all the practices on fridays for np, this leaves me with only 50%. crap.im still considering whether or not to join interact club, cos its only once a week on wednesdays for only 2 hours. at least i'll have 100% attendance. gotta discuss with the guitar teacher first, maybe exceptions can be made. plan to make np an external cca too, if possible. need discuss with the HOD of ccas too. how inconvenient >:0 which brings me to the point, I WILL GO FOR CIBTC J'09. send me to another school man, i say bring it on >:0 ok just kidding. im gambling with possibility here.

im a saint now, HE will help me :P

2009-02-08T12:48:00.002+08:00

so orientation ended on friday, which means lessons would begin tomorrow. oh yeahhhh

so on friday took the usual 6.30+ train adn met the rest at outram and then took the nel to potong pasir. theres this shelter that i have to walk through everyday, which 'is proudly opened by chiam see tong'. lol.so the usual morning scripture reading and prayer thingy before we headed off for 2 hours of mass dance. yeah my favourite part of the whole OC. then left at about 1.30 to go back np. but i got lost at the saint andrews village and then reached the bus stop around half an hour later. the bus stop is just outside the village mind you. i was supposed to walk from the jc to the secondary school to the kindergarten but i think i got lost in the secondary school. so bused back to nh within 35 mins. zoomzoom fast. met up with ying and nich in the np room. new ac pe shirt not nice :( but better quality. ac still better than sa D:

so hung around until 4.45 before heading off to sa once again. took around 45mins this time because i took the train nad reached around 5.50+, just in time for my campfire. but it rained, so the campfire was cancelled and contingency plan was activated. wore my sash and armband thingy for my 'kingdom identity' thing. in case for those who dont understand what it is, its kingdom is supposed to come up with an identity to wear so as to showcase each kingdoms speciality. the ball ball kingdom peeps were wearing hairbands with balls attached and thepirate kingdom were wearing pirate vests made from rubbish bags. so danced and cheered, then all the nanhua sa peeps pangseh their OG dinner and we went to chinatown for our own nanhua mini gathering, though not all nahuarians were there.

am glad to see the nanhuarians in sa slowly enjoying themselves in sa, and i have to say including myself. like i said, sa is a good school. note the underlined, try guess the idea im putting across (: everyone had great fun in finale, but i think among all of us jacksan is having the most fun lol. its like i see him in his OG like perma laughing/smiling one. some of us already blend in to the sa surroundings/culture already lol. come to think of it, did i mention theres this nanhua girl in sa whom i've never seen before for 4 years. how amazing is that o.o

anyway its just the start of the year and i think its qutie a difficult start for me already. i dropped chinese, knowing that i'll have a confirmed D in my a level cert already. i told myself to work really hard for econs and physics, especially physics. mr wee told me last time that he hoped that i'll at least get an A2 durings Os but i got a B3.sigh i'll try my very best to get an A now, its not going to be easy. im also considering taking H3 physics or chem next year, so i have to work triple-y hard. then again, i have to take up a cca on wednesday. i wanna take up something light but im not sure what i want. photographic society then i'll be alone. if i take up guitar, i think there'll be auditions cos its SYF year if im not wrong.furthermore, they only play classical, and i really want acoustic ):

another factor is i gotta consider is whether it'll eat up my time on friday, preventing me from going back to parades.on the point of my june course, i now have even more problems. kent ridge has brought up the issue that they're in the need of CIs, so even after completing CIBTC i stand a very high chance of getting posted there. gargh i dont want to make the wrong choice. but i think im ok being stuck with being just a senior nco.i suppose. ahhhh i dont know.

now all i want to do is, get my uniform, get a new pair of shoes and buy mroe clothes :D that'll leave me with like 5 pairs of shoes lololol.i wanna revise my lecture notes too,

but i forgot to buy them on friday ._.

2009-02-04T19:09:00.003+08:00

woo plz 300th post. unlike other people set up for a few months then like 500+ post already.

so today wasnt that bad, partly because its amazing race. as predicted half the time was lost to the travelling time so the day zoomed past rather fast. time management was badly done by the councillors, boo to that. debrief to them would be very long >:0 but i think their oc so far quite good ba, at least they got quite a lot of buffer time. just that i've been dismissed late everyday.

so im sure already. the only reason why i wanna get out of sa isnt because sa is a bad place. its a really good place, really. just that the people in my batch are really ._. J1 sajc-ians reading this, sorry, but this is how i feel.today is wednesday already, sorta gave up hope on the ac appeal thing.oh well.

still dont know what cca to join. no one wants to join photographic society with me :( kjw got scouted by some njc peeps for basketball i think, and i wanna try basketball too. but im not sure whether i can tahan 3 trainings a week.also, i htink the centre positions already taken up la, so means only left pointguard and forward :( i also wanna go back np every week. currently my ogl who takes pcme said his classes ended at 2 for him on fridays when he was J1, so i can zoom back to nanhua just in time. but im also considering band and council lol. equally attractive :D and i decided to drop chinese, though it'll look bad in my a level cert.

so tomorrow theres going to be this J1 meet J2 thing, wooo going to my ogl class.samuels in his class too, maybe we'll talk about everything. from sajc to nhhs, from basketball to basketball in sajc, from the old times to........yuxuan? LOL. cos met up with him today and had a little short convo with him and chowler.

89% going to pon finale/campfire of OC to go back np. see i so wei da (: no la just wanna finish this oc thing and get into classes asap. i miss my fellow nanhuarians. teachers, 404ers, 205ers, juniors and ..... the cheap canteen food.

2009-02-02T20:38:00.002+08:00

CAUTION: STANDARD RANTING POST AHEAD.

i am not in a mood to find any picture for this post.

am extremely disappointed with sa.VERY disappointed.to the extreme.

firstly, i heard they arranged og groups according to birthdays? ._____. ok thats rather ok, BUT BUT I AM THE ONLY SINGAPOREAN BOY IN MY GROUP.WHAT.THE.EFF. its like being in changi airport. 4 china scholars, 4-5vietnamese who keep blabbering to each other in their own language, 1 brazilian who also got outcasted. so obviously they were in their cliques la, and i tried to be friendly, like zhipeng asked me to, but they freaking hell heck care me one la.the only person i talk to is my og leader la, jason. hes new town ncc's cadet lieutenant, so we had common topics to talk about.sian. jack's group walked past mine then he laughed and said something like why your face so dulan.

OF COURSE LA, THIS KIND OF BLOODY GROUP WHO WANT? then what the hell, i have scripture reading and mini morning prayers everyday. WHAT THE. i thought it was once a week la, how you want me tahan. siao leh.ok maybe ac also have, BUT I JUST DONT WANT TO DO IT IN SA. then got so many _______ school people, its like telling me i did very badly for o levels la. i feel damn demoralised. then the principal's speech is also not that impressive la. at least mr foo's catches people's attention when he fumbles a bit on and off. i mean at least it catches the students attention. her speech is like totally boring la, i mean I FELL ASLEEP DURING THE FIRST PRINCIPAL OF MY NEW SCHOOL. this is interesting man. then she also never use any 1337 imba phrases that can catch my attention la. i miss arthur kok T.T

i have to admit, the only thing i enjoyed was mass dance. like zi high la. no one high with me. but i really enjoyed myself. maybe one day include mass dance into np curriculum. would be rather interesting. and i like my og groups name. ILIOS. it means wind in dutch i think, and i represents the element of my 'kingdom'. wanted fire though. and chowlers group got one cheer freaking cool la. cos his 'kingdom' is ofthe metal element and his 'kingdom leader', which is the leader of all the og leaders in the his kingdom carries one uber big inflated ball la, which is supposed to be a metal ball. then their cheer is. CLAP>' BALLS TO YOU'. damn cool la rofl

ok shall end here. i dont usually rant a lot. AC ACCEPT ME PLEASE.I REALLY THINK ITS JUST BECAUSE I FAIL CHINESE THAT YOU DONT WANT MEZ T.T

2009-02-01T20:26:00.006+08:00

I
AM
READY .

so today woke up at 5.45 to meet the rest to send tyt off to australia. there were 9 of us, and we took 3 cabs to T3 cos we thought we couldnt make it in time before tyt moves off to the holding area. so took a few photos and all, chit chatted for awhile and then everyone were overcome with emotions. not me of course hehehe. so we stoned around T3 then went over to T1 for some popeye's chicken.skytrained-ed to T2 and then mrted to lakeside

went over to cherngyew's for bai nian with xinzhi nich kjw vivian zhengyang chaypioh amanda sean. woops did i miss out anyone? also saw cherngyews relatives, received angbao :D left earlier with nich and i headed to klin's. the rest had finished swimming so just went to some coffeeshop for their lunch. chit chatted about various issues.

ok so this is my last day of the holidays and tomorrow would be the first day my job as a student would be reinstated. hohohoho. new school, new start, new fun (?), a whole new year filled with crazy stuff :D see, imma optimistic now.

2009-01-31T22:11:00.002+08:00

just received my orientation group number, 18. 1 less than my first ever register number in nanhua. i hope to make the best out of my 1.5 yrs+ in sa if my appeal fails. please pretty please be a good year ahead for me :S the np schedule already killing off half my mind already ):

As Jeremiah 29:11 says," 'For I know the plans I have for you' declares the Lord, ' plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' " . Guess where i took it from. SA orientation blog.

-.-

2009-01-30T20:34:00.002+08:00

ohkay so i got in to sa, is that a bad thing or a blessing in disguise. never know i guess. arthur kok says that its a good school and all and i remember he told me before any JC will do, just have to work hard for A levels, which is next year ._. though some people are satisfied or maybe some are trying to appeal in to sa, i dono why but i still insist on going to AC, though i've pretty much aware of the bad stuff in the school. maybe because its nearer? but distance's not a really big issue anyway.

had class gathering on wednesday, organised by kjw. not bad leh, good organiser, should organise more in future. 20 people turned up, which was really woah amazing. went to some rooftop carpark to chit chat and play some mini games, some left after a while, but it was rather late anyway.i think these gatherings are good la. although like everyone is segregated into the different cliques, i mean its kinda fun to 'hang around' people you know. sometimes will just have awkward silence, partly because our class people arent really close to each other. foolaoshi fault la D: guys sit at the back girls sit at the front, what logic is that. anyway there was this 'fun stoning' time la. at least to me i was fun. it was like the cny cleberation, stoning and staring at the people of my batch though i dont exactly know them. hahaha im a weirdo :D

today's np was fine i guess. games got cancelled cos of the rain. boo to that. and although i predicted that it'll be a long day today, it turned out pretty much ok. my form was number 81 for the appeal into ac and chowler's was 77, although i got on to the laptop for the appealing thingy much earlier than him. not used to laptop keys :( so its goin to be a week before i know how my appeal goes. kinda lost hope actually, but then again, i peeped into other people's l1r5 its like 11 or 12 but mines 10, so could that be a good thing? or maybe its because or the 10 pointers that wanted to go into ac made it into ac and were at home sleeping. chinese will haunt me forever :(

so i'll wait for a week and see what happens.

2009-01-23T21:45:00.002+08:00

popped back to school today for the chinese new year celebrations!

went down at around 7.25 and found dezhan outside classroom 103. sorta missed the flag raising cos i was late i guess. when i entered the school the national anthem was already playing, so had to stand at attention as a sign of respect, so was stuck at the front gate area. patriotic :D

dezhan was doing some of his kumon stuffs while me nich and kjw had nothing to do, so we went to get a netball from the cage and playz. 403 peeps were already playing, using half the court, so had to use some emo corner netball pole thingy. then played match with some people with my not-so-comfortable shoes. headed to the hall for the concert after that.

sat behind 404 peeps, turned out 404 students do have a life,being back in school to have fun wahaha.the concert performances werent really attractive, but there was a touch of happiness and excitement when i realised i actually had time to be back in nanhua in my JC1 year, though school hasnt started. ok, i make no sense hmmm o.o anyway the performances were the usual few every year, lion dance, chinese dance,break dance, teachers singing,prc performing but with the exception that this time there was no nanhua idol. wonder why. prc brought hip into chinese music, if you get what i mean :P wowo benny ng sang the zhang dong liang song together with the chinese teacher that did not have the chinese teacher look, so cool man. then when the concert was ending, all the seniors left the hall.

like many people from my batch came back, all came back to chit chat. stoned a bit outside hall, so much so presley was like yearning to go home.but then to me, i felt happy and lucky to be in the crowd of people whom i've been through for 4 years, though most of whom i have not spoken to before.its just 'fun' in a sense. crap, everythings turning into 'fun' for me ._. no more adjectives to describe. no wonder english only A2 T.T how come...why..... i really thought can A1 :P anyway then went to chit chat with mdm yong in staff room while dezhan was enlightened that testimonials can also be used to add on to the documents to appeal into JCs. then went to find mr teoh, then he was like on steroids mode, so super high la. he gave a big HELLO when he realised we went to find him. but actually we only went to find him cos dezhan wanted to know where to get his testimonial. but then again, its good to see mr teoh smile, he should smile more often man hoho. hanged around in school, chit chat with miss lim, mrs limaitee, foo lao shi.

the short conversation with foolaoshi made me realise how much my chinese has deteriorated within these 2 months. i had shit loads of trouble communicating with her la ._. oh man, need read more wo bao already, my house no chinese newspaper D: must...not..forget....chinese.

then lunched with ak presley and kjw at botak jones and saw the 410 people. mr kok was tired or just plain lazy and we took a cab from outside the side gate to botak jones. maybe i should study until master degree and be a teacher too, can earn lotsa monaye $_$ the servings of botak jones has definitely reduced dramatically and the price has jumped to like frigging high. remember last time i ate the cajun chicken was $6.50, and now it costs $8. chit chatted a bit before heading home.

bathed and headed out again after like 20 mins to reach bukit timah at 3.45+. pooled till around 6 and then went to the hawker centre above the beauty world complex for dinner. was kinda fun. headed to lan with chowler kjw and zishuo while yijo went to cut hair. realised a lan at bukit timah shopping centre ALSO HAS LEFT4DEAD. hahahaha this is good, now everywhere has left4dead :D played till around 9 and headed home with 184.

zoom im done with today.soccer tomorrow at klin's i think.oh man, gotta make a bigbig not so important decision by tomorrow afternoon. boohoo >:0 think there'll be a parade next friday? but dont know whether i would have time to attend cos i think i'll be busy with stuffz to appeal into acjc the whole day.

it'll be a very,very long day :(

2009-01-19T21:29:00.003+08:00

30th january is slowly making its way closer!

lets see, went to ngeeann on friday, i think, forgot already, mental block :D played for like 3 hours then went to subway IN ngeeann for lunch. so cool la, school got subway, think subway should open more outlets everywhere in singapore, so nice. furthermore in ngeeann the subway there sells stuff at a cheaper price as compared to outside. also, the food court there so niceeee. omg lol like promoting ngeeann, but the place damn cool la lol. the food courts also all so nice hehehe.then went to mambo for pool. hoho my pool have improved, fear my cue stick skills when i strike ballz lol.

then following day went downstairs to basketball again the whole afternoon doenstairs till 7+. woohoo had intense smecksaye sunburn on my nape, but i dont think the other parts of my body got tan-ner D: then went down again the whole afternoon for basketball till 7+,again. saw NP senior both days and even played with his bunch of friends, all nanhua seniors hohoho. play with the nanhua family.

then today went to jurong point with cherngyew sean kjw to find school bags. i think its kinda early to get a school bag though, so just tagged along. jp offers some really great bags though, maybe i'll head back there after when school starts/bought new books.then went to the lan at the building of west bowl. turns out the old lan has shut down and a new aloha cyber cafe has taken over. best thing is A LAN IN CLEMENTI OFFERS LEFT4DEAD AT $2 PER HOUR! WOOO HOOO who want play just jio me :D thanks sean for discovering it too lol.

30th january hurry hurry. somehow i kinda regret my JAE choices. cos i put ac as first 2 choices, pushing sa back to a 3rd choice,which really puts me at a risk of going into the other choices which i put, like 5th-12th choice o.o aiyoh. then i'll end up having to appeal in to SA, instead of my initial plan of appealing into AC. furthermore, like a lot of people going to both sa and ac T.T a handful of my primary school classmates seem to be going to sa too. wowzers.

on a side note, i've replaced my worn out 4 year old hole-in-the-bottom sports shoe with a new one! used the $20 sportslink grad night lucky draw voucher lol so i got it for $63. may consider to get another pair of track shoes for long tedious running too though, cos this ones abit basketball-like, quite kuku to wear it and walk around, at least to what i feel la lol.

np on thursday~~~ :D

2009-01-15T20:54:00.003+08:00

ok so i've finally submitted my JAE application form!

i dont know whether its stupid or what, but i followed the advice from this teacher/clerk at ac and put down ac for both my 2nd and first choice, science first and followed by arts.means im risking the 'priority thing' for my 2nd choice, which is sa. oh noz.

headed down this morning to aj and ac this morning with shaoan.went to aj first, met a bunch of 402ers who were down there to get appeal forms but it turned out the forms werent out yet. went in and walked aroudn to check out the school. real home-y and cosy environment, though its a bit rundown, but im fine with it.then went down to ac. the campus was rather small, but then again the buildings were like rather impressive. the main block, or so i think, looks really office like, which was real cool! basketball court wasnt well maintained though :( asked a few questions about this and that. the lady told me that if i passed my higher chinese, which means i would have 6 points, i would have a relatively high chance of going in. depressed :(

chionged home with 74 and headed down for np!np was ohkay, i mean it felt great that i was back in nanhua again with all my juniors :D

anyway went sa open house accidentally after shopping around with zhipeng and kelvin and amk hub. my initial plan was just to walk to the sidegate and take timing from there to clementi mrt but zhipeng persuaded us to go in and get freebies -.- walked around, the school was pretty ok, althought there were excerpts from the bibles on the wall here and there. but then again, ac has those too lol.did i mention that this was this super hyper usher at the entrance lol. seriously, she scared me ._. met rachel shaoan and jing there too. after awhile went off and started timing cos kelvin wants to go back clementi in a hurry. arrived at clementi approximately 47 mins later!

ac or sa! oh noz im afraid that i'll be late for parades after school starts for me :( oh noz the ncc cca extravaganza song keep playing in my head rofl

2009-01-12T20:12:00.002+08:00

._______________________________________________________.

ok, so i got 10.it's ok i guess, but i failed my chinese. which gives me 8 points.which really pisses me off.to add on, 3/4 of the people around me are zooming off to nj and hwachong T_T now i even have problems goin in to ac, both the arts and the sciences.

how how how. then sa's like so bloody far.sian.

._______________________________________________________.

2009-01-11T18:54:00.002+08:00

cca extravaganza yesterday!

went down at 6.45+, and their performance finally started after around 2 hours? ok la, considering the lack of trainings during the holidays. the other uniform groups were great too, BB definitely improved a lot in my opinion.

then came the boring part which was the static booth.hanged around while the kids came to the booth class by class. a lot of them seemed to be interested in the laser-revolver thingy. then theres this guy who came and kept saying 'i want to shoot someone' or something like that. oh noz, not a nother school shooting spree incident :O. then there was this guy who was being carried on the stretcher by the sjab peeps, who was really kinda retarded, as agreed by chao :D. he said something like 'oooo i can see the sky..... i can see angel' something like that. then i was like wtf ._.

then after that was debrief and stuffz. went to check out fiona addressing the sec2s, kinda agree with what she said. when all these batch of more pro CIs go already, can the new generation of CIs really take over? D: headed to IMM for lunch and had macs o.o kelvin came and then we headed off for klins partaye. to me it was ok la, i like those chances for people to gather around and interact, although the 402 people and 205 were like seperated distinctively. was also hoongjia's birthday ;o. so a big happy birthday to klinsaon and hoongjia once again.

cca extravaganza was cool, i mean i dont think the time to be part of it would ever come back. honestly i have no impression of any drill displays or performances of uniform groups or dance back then. like totally forgot already. but i do remember bouncing a basketball in the canteen that day, and i think npcc's booth was in the canteen too? o.o good times, good times but we all gotta be forward looking! anticipate change and stay relevant. ok a bit make no sense.

siredwin had a lil talk with the sec3s who are like the ncos-to-be in a few months, and that really left me to think. like last time we had to 'fight' to get in to the fdc squad and we really wanted to put a performance for others to see, a ~~mindblowing~~ mindBLASTING performance. but then nowadays, people would skip trainings, be like super pek cek during the practices and then expect people to really dismiss them on time when the standard's not really there or when the objective for the day has not yet been met. the pride to be in a fancy drill contingent has really been gone D: in other performing arts group or other ccas that put up performances, im sure the drive to do well has always been there, and is still there.but seriously is np really that sian, its a uniform group anyway, and its basic laws have to be followed, like discipline and strictness, which really isnt so strict now. gotta admit, even now the cis hos and tos have also slackened down to allow more space for everyone. since this nco batch is gonna leave soon, i really hope the rest of the unit would jiayou and keep the NP unit alive and kickin.

sianpo, tomorrow taking results. i really really want 8 or 9, but i know its quite impossible. too late to regret now anyway.highest i can go before i get an attack has to be a 13 i guess. but dont know, im not really sure how i 'll feel after the receiving the results, whether i've done good or bad. last time PSLE also not like that, its like i was just some childish kiddo la, then get 245 for psle also like dont care one lol.

distinction for english pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. and e math too. seriously -.-

2009-01-07T20:10:00.002+08:00

hohoho heard from yingying results would be out on 12th! kinda makes sense though, cos i think jc2 starts on 12th too.ok maybe a bit no link.

cca extravaganza and klin's party on mondayyyyyy. goin back to school tomorrow too, maybe can get to have chit chat with mdm yong : D. so far managed to have a short convo with all the teachers wooo.

on a side note, the hairdresser has mercilessly snipped off my miserable hair, leaving me semi-fringeless D: ohnoz no face to see people for the next few days. hope it'll grow grow grow by monday T_T

2009-01-02T21:22:00.003+08:00

SO CUTE RIGHT. check out kelvin tay, ultimate metamorphosis huh :D

so went back to school today on the first day of school of year 2009 :( met kelvin and nich at mrt at 11 and im the first to reach hohoho. 189ed and then reached school. went to walk around the classroom block to check out the new classes and then the staff room. mdm yong took the first 3 days of school off, which means she wont be in school until wednesday booo. wanted to find her and chit chat. then mr adrian tan's leaving. hes gonna set up his own education business. saw mr koh, laurakhoo and mr teoh. wooo he wave at me when i waved to him. wooo. had a short chat with mr wee too. then saw mr wong and chit chatted for like 20 mins, then lim ai tee joined in to the convo.

many other sec4'08 students came back too. like i think 3/4 of 409, a group of 402 and many others. then np, drill session, collected eagles and went home.

oh noz, left 2 practices before rehersal for cca extravaganza T.T howhowhow die die die :( jiayouzxzxzxz on a sidenote, the new sec1s all very typical lol, short short cute cute geekytards :D

6.......more.........months........... D:

2009-01-01T20:24:00.003+08:00

and a big YELLO to 2009! though its laggy cos its 8+ already.

went for overnight cycling with kjw, yonglak, jh and sally. yonglak was 2 hours late, no surprises there :( ate subway for dinner. so after locking the bikes to some random lamp post, then went to bugis to find sally. then 196ed back to east coast park and yes, our bikes werent stolen :D

lotsa life at ecp even at 11+, probably cos everyones waiting for the countdown. then headed for changi village from east coast park. cycle cycle then saw changi airport! cool place, saw many planes depart and touch down. think i damn noob, first time i saw those stuff 'live' not on tv. so cool man :D then theres this straight road which stretches for around 5-6km next to airport that we have to cycle. freaking sian. changi beach was packed with people too, tents everywhere, then by the time we reach there was like 12+ already, so like a lot of people whom we cycle past wish us happy new year. woo friendly society. oh ya and at 12mn, flares were shot up by the ships along east coast park. then they all horned together, but cos they were too far away so its rather soft. could also see the fireworks coming from marina that side also.

supper at changi village, eating the subway cookies and fried hokkien mee. sat around changi beach before cycling back to east coast park. think we covered like 20km+. then found some shelter and rested. then went to camp outside the bicycle store to return the bikes. 196ed to outram park, ate breakfast at chinatown at the market. ate the raw fish porridge i ate last time. think its better la, as compared to the boring $2 breakfast macdonald meals.

reached home and slept till 4+.

so the year 2008 has come to an end, and what a rocky rollercoaster it has been. shant really elaborate on the year, but lets hope 2009 would be a whole lot better. a good way to start of the year is 8 or 9 points for o levels :D seriously i think the worse score i should get is 13 or 14, if not its really ._. for me :(

2008-12-30T20:52:00.001+08:00

zoom np today :O

went down at 6.30+ i think, yes im not the last one anymore hohoho. muster paraded. wooo see many people receive stuff, but those who didnt receive the stuffs or velvety things you wanted, no fear, cos its a cue to work harder and improve on your standards :D but then again for those who received your stuffz, a great congrats as your hardwork( i hope >:0) has finally be recognised. but then again, a slacker like me can pass all my promos, wooplz. i are great talent (:

then took sec1s and a few sec2s for a while for drills while the rest had fdc. then went to seesee fdc.okok la. could be better D: after that, 2nd postings then er, a brief debrief. then went west coast plaza for some retarded thai express meal. thought i got scammed but actually the rice with the few thingys quite full. some prawn paste rice. hey it comes with a slice of cucumber and tomato. healthy healthy ._. bloody hell, $12.75 because of the 17% thingy. >:0 282ed back,went home and changed, went to join kjw and bro and primary school friends for bball downstairs till 5+.

aiyo actually right, fdc training got so tough meh. compare with the ancient times where nhhs was still back at the old campus, sunny told us like the parade square was made of those kind of roughrough (tar?) flooring, with the friendly afternoon sun scorching your ass out. then with the even more epic old old GL CIs scolding the shit out of you, firing drills like a submachinegun without even closing the mouth for a rest o.o then for the not so ancient times, like my time, the trainings were like wtf even more tiring can ._. 8-12 everyday for like err 1 week? around there. everyday can, in half-u. like the uniform cannot wash one.then its like really tio niao like siao la. and if the formations are confusing or chim, go see 2004 open house formation plz. my first part in a performance. spirals, throwing rifles UP and catching them when they freefall, forming the five eyed freak of the np crest thingy, forming the singapore flag's stars and crescents. etc etc. somemore one of the more recent ones i think last year cca extravaganza, throwing rifles and exchanging them with the person opposite you. double ew tee eff >:0.

jialat, as generations pass, the teens get more and more paper ._.

on a sidenote, i'll be taking up guitar soon( if nothing goes wrong) :D hope i can cope next year with all the jc sheez, nhnp matters and miscellaneous stuff.i scared something happens before june then i wont have the time to go J'08 CIBTC D: .OVERNIGHT CYCLING TOMORROW YEAHHHHHHHH. hope no accidents happen though.

the long-owed tag replies! may miss out some paiseh :( old already. :

yx> lol secrecy plz. zhuai lor come back from jap then know so many new jap stuffz already D: and wtf takopoachi ramen o.o isnt takopoachi those 3 for $2 octopus balls lol

ferny> lol paiseh! no money :D hahaha

yingying> walao i think you go round everyone's blog pasting the same thing la lol. no cheng yi one :( happy late boxing day anyway lol.

amandaang> lolol before 5th jan, when your school starts >D

YUHAN> erhhhhh i know im right :D

sally> lolol i think the real shaoan would be much better. ELECTRIO CORONATA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) yay i dont owe you $10 already, like finally.

xinyun> sorry! didnt have sufficient cash. needed da money for somethin else :D

vaa> woo sengkia. of course la, me leh. anyway thanks for you photoshop cs 4 lol, save me like $200-$300+ right :D

YEAH DONE.

2008-12-26T21:25:00.003+08:00

boxing day! like yonglak says, if you receive crappy presnts during christmas which was the day before, you could go and box the person legally today. only today, if not it'll become illegal :O

didnt do anything the whole day as usual, mum and sis went out the whole day, leaving me at home alone >:0 partly cos i didnt want to join them as well.went to basketball downstairs and played with the neighbourhood people, and also my primary school friend who migrated to aussy 2 years back, who is now back here for celebrations.

thing i dont get is, how come some people can just hurl vulgarities at each other so freely, like every 10 words sure got at least 2 vulagrity D: see im so pure muah ha ha. but anyway it's kinda lucky i got into nhhs i guess, not that other schools are bad, but at least the people i know here use lesser holy words >:0

whee boring post, cos im bored, but then im kinda occupied by mixed emotions now ):but hey, its not my fault anyway, i havent got the greens and people to help me. ok maybe not because they wont help, but just that im not sure whether or not to trust anymore people.

joeshuas off to japan today? i think. doubt you'll be seeing this, but you better get the cookies jerald got from hokkaido the other time >D

2008-12-26T00:01:00.001+08:00

OH NO CHRISTMAS IS OVER D: felt that i sorta like wasted the whole day doing nothing o.o but then again, happy boxing day everyone :D

2008-12-25T00:10:00.003+08:00

a jolly christmas to all :D

hahahaha this year christmas highhigh, just spammed lotsa people merry xmas through msn and sms. though this year would be different, wont be going to both my dad and mum's side for xmas partaye. which means no presents for me >:0

pooled with ak, kjw, chowler and klinsen yesterday. lunched at bukit timah market first. joined in some long queue cos chowler said the chicken rice was tasty, but turned out the one downstairs still nicer D: ok maybe cos i grew up with that chicken rice taste since young lolol. wooo so my pool skillz still suck and im still not 'a pool person'. so after pool when to king albert park macs to chitty chatty then headed to clementi mrt to meet up with the rest for the supposedly bbq.

in the end went to raffles city to eat the err shokudon or somethin for dinner. burnt my pockets and the extra 17% charges didnt help much either >:0 ate then went to the riverside at esplanade and sat there. chatted and listened to songs. then went orchard with yonglak amanda kjw xinzhi jh and sally joined us later.walked and checked out the many christmas carolling sessions. i think christmas carols are like damn cool, not sure why, but just that its you can totally feel the spirit and enthusiasm in their voices. hohoho.

soccer today with 205 guys at fico. played for like 2 hours then went to jp to eat at the smaller lailai kitchen at jp1. think theres a HUGEEEEEEEE one at jp2, where yuan's working. actually the price at the smaller one quite reasonable, like $3 for a plate of soy sauce chicken rice and $1.20 for a canned drink. wowo i like cheap and affordable stuff :D cant blame me, cos i dont have a job :( then walked around and then went arcade for daytona. woooo 1stz, bow down to the presence of greatness :D

once again a very merry christmas to everyone :D dono why this time christmas so high lol.

2008-12-19T20:11:00.003+08:00

check out the fountain at vivo! though the pic was poorly taken, taken at a wrong angle D: would be better if i had a DSLR too. think there was a kid playing with the water but he ran away somehow.

so retreat was today! like finally, felt that the np break was too long.went for workplan in the morning, saw many sec1s to be. to think i was like that 4 years back, boohoo. but then again, my time is over and its time for a new generation to shift in to nanhua. work plan was boring, and the room was freakin small, but some painting uncle needed the leadership room or so its called so went to np room.finally lunchy. drinks were on edwin, grats on job as relief teacher as nan hua next year. beware juniors, he could be entering your classrooms lolol. hinthint, teaching geo lol. cant imagine the omgwtfbbq expressions when they see him :D

so finally the main event of the day, which was the retreat. personally had fun, though some unforseen circumstances cropped up. 3 people from the group i was tagging along got stuck at outram park, so the rest had to wait at tiongbahru. surprisingly the people werent on the next train, so fiona went back to find them. then apparently one of them the wallet dropped into the train tracks ._. so we were delayed for like half an hour booo. andandand the train station thingy called for my name at the station. so cool omg :D first time my name got called in mrt station, but i think cos fiona told the mrt staff i was there and stuffz.

so headed to singapore poly and then to lakeside. and then back to nanhua. highlight of the day was still the delay though, its a bad thing but was rather interesting. xing4 zai1 le4 huo4 i think. yeah my chinese still havent deplete yet muah ha ha. headed back to school for the last station which was some flag hunting thingy hidden in school. debriefed and ate some really nice biscuits jerald brought back from japan. asked joeshua to find back the same biscuits when he goes to japan, but thats if that guy remembers >:0.

sunny gave me and joeshua some talks on seniorncoship, and he really made sense lol. we're like stuck in the middle, in the transition to be a CI, but above an nco. of course talked about other stuffz too, but was fun la lolol.returning back to school from lakeside, jerald asked when was my june course, so just gave him a reply that its in the hq's workplan thing, 8-21 june. also, according to the workplan, woops cannot type, sensitive stuff, or at least i think. must watch what i post on the web lol. anyway would be missing some activity la, which is kinda sad, cos be with nanhuarians and my juniors. always more fun to hang around with people you know.then jermaine sorta overheard and asked why would i wanna like endure 20 days of hardship to be a CI.

and then i ponder to myself.but one things for sure.If nothing goes wrong, i am willing to withstand the 20 days, somehow.

2008-12-18T21:48:00.003+08:00

salutations! im sooooo bored, so i was surfing through the web, i found this psle math qeustion which created a small lil controversy.funpo question, gotta admit i was stunned for awhile D: PSLE leh, dono how to do= fail lol.

The Figure below shows a rectangle 15 cm by 6 cm.

The area of Triangle A is 4 cm² and the area of Triangle B is 16 cm².

Find the shaded area of Rectangle C. [2 marks]

2 marks only, mind you. an assumption has to be made, but then again if you assume, you make an ass of u & me! :D

2008-12-18T19:13:00.002+08:00

was browsing through forums and found this funny thingy!

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story: BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird d singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

lolol think some may have seen it before XD

2008-12-16T22:58:00.003+08:00

geo

zoom ah-pu-date-to after a week.

supposed to go pulau ubin for some cheap and new cycling spots but the weather was rainy and all so we didnt go in the end. damn couldnt go see nicholas got his ATC of his CIBTC. boooo.

ahhhh lemme try and make this post as long as possible. went jp 4 days in 5-6 days? still marvel at that ._. like all my friends wanna check out the new extension. wanna go back there soon or go imm cos i wanna eat the $3.50 frigging big chicken chop thingy. looks kinda cool.

recap about sunday's squad dinner ;o new york new york is a bad place D: i rather go crystal jade and eat la mian. $16.25 i think for a latino chicken chop thingy. and their veggies are like grass cos its raw. then later that after a uber long time decision on going to park( which can be westcoast park or carpark -.-), vivo, went back to clementi instead and went lot 1 to arcade with liat both kelvins and kjw. then went to mac to chit chat. joined by jermaine. chit chat chit chat. then reached home around 11.

next day went jp( i have no idea why) with cy,kjw xinzhi,kevinyeo AND BRYANGOH. AHHH I NEVER TAKE PHOTO WITH HIM. NOOOOOOOOO. actually i went there cos i kinda knew they were going to the arcade lol. wahahha imma arcade freak like klin says. but then again i have no more money to spend for the rest of the holidays so i gotta refrain from it :(

kay about today, went to kjw grandmothers condo for exercise with kjw cherngyew and sean. met at 11 and tables tennis-ed till like 2.45 without having lunch. woo practice table tennis with cherngyew, imma pro now :) just kidding. then went swimming. water was frigging cold. sean was shivering like hell when he first entered the water. my teeth were like chattering :S so swim awhile and then went out to bathe and went to have dinner at 5. subway cold cut trio with double chocolate chip cookies and sprite lolol. 14ed home. was shivering in the bus for awhile cos i was realll cold.

think will table tennis again tomorrow lolol. ahhh i so want school to start soon :s but i reallyyyy wanna go back to nhhs, somehow. wonder how sir edwin's passion for the school/nhnp can remain so strong after such a long time.hope i can be like him lolol. boo new school next year, gotta make new friends again. which kinda reminds me again that i was kinda lucky to be in 404, i really knew ALL the guys in my class, in one way or another.

booo to jay cee ): but maybe i'll enjoy myself, who knows?

2008-12-10T20:40:00.002+08:00

woo this pic is nice, the background look so fake righttttt :o

went to check out the extension thingy at jurong point today! quite a number of cool shops, actually there are many many cool shops, should go check out that place more often.theres this stall selling chilli crab puffs woo. think its called some A1 puff or somethin.

bought 2 polo tees and a pair of pants, but apparently the woman gave me the wrong pair and i got a pair which was one size smaller booo. so gotta go back again tomorrow to change. grrr.

singaporeans are also amazingly kiasu when it comes to trains. this woman rushed in to the train for the seat opposite mine and 'booked' the seat next to the one she was sitting for her friend. wth kiasu >:0 booo to ill-mannered unethical people.

think squad dinner's on sunday, if nothing goes wrong ;o

2008-12-09T23:59:00.001+08:00

From deviantart,

Is waiting for fools?
Someone who sits and waits for something to happen.
Knowing that they have to do something in order for something to happen.
Would you call them a fool?
Or would you say they are different then the rest.
Maybe we are the fools.
Who knows people who we think are fools are really normal and the ones who think their
normal are the one's who are the fool.

2008-12-08T19:59:00.003+08:00

bangbang holidays are a bore >:0

today is a very cold (literally) and suay day. i failed wheel of excitement 3 times in a row, failed scratchcard, failed coltzan shrine and died like 6-7 times in silkroad lolol. but anyway its just neopets and silkroad, its not my life, though life is very very dull without school/exams. cant believe like 3 weeks ago i was working my ass out to study, ok maybe not, cos it was the mcqs but i was studying! so long never write alrdy and my handwriting has downgraded from legilble to horrendous.

ahhh i want to work. anyone knows where to get jobs that involves tutoring, education-related etc etc. i need $_$ to buy lotsa stuff. now my only hope is yuxuan's aunt who can hopefully offer 2 slots for some invigilation thingy D:

ahhhhhhhh holidays faster end. lot of stuff i wanted to do before the hols i didnt do it in the end. learn the guitar, learn hip hop (wowzers) and i think theres one more. gaaaa but i dont wanna collect my results either. i think i'll get those kind of caught in the middle results, maybe 9-11? booo i want 8 points though lolol. but 10 is fine i guess, same as my prelims one lolol.

boooo D:

2008-12-04T19:28:00.002+08:00

back from chalet,again!

dont know why, this chalet sorta feels different from the one i had with 205 i had last week.i wont say its more fun or more boring, but its just not similar as the previous ;o think i dont mind recapping a bit of the stuff that happened since i have nothing to do now.

supposed to meet up with them SHARPLY(as highlighted by dezhan) at 2 but i was late with chowler, half an hour later lolol. thought our chalet was costa sands downtown east, but it turned out to be the one at costa sands pasir ris. played around in arcade and ate cup noodles for dinner.

*fast forward to night cycling*

still my favourite activity of every chalet lolol. i managed to trace back the route from pasir ris to changi klin and john led last week bwa ha ha. led 14 teens for an agonising 1 hour i think, cycle till the ass damn pain. think we went real slowwww cos some had problems with their bike i think. ate some plastic like prata and then cycled around changi. sorta got lost finding changi beach and some kind policeman showed us the way. they also went to check out changi hospital and yonglak jh kjw and dono who even took photos inside when they cant see anything ._. but of course got flash. in the end nothing funny appeared in their photo. saw some ___ too, ew :S

zoom to the next morning, won $10.40 in blackjack phoo. but i lost $10 in the afternoon before the bbq lolol. but in the end earned back $1.20 lol. so overall i earned $1.20 yay ._. then bbq and class photo, though the one uploaded in the class blog is pathetic-ally small D: waited for everyone to clear from bbq pit/sian diao from cooking before i started to cook stuffz, my weird habit :D then like the whole chalet sally's niece and nephew like keep running in and out of chalet. damn funny. the niece only 2 years old but shes kinda independent, cos she always just runs to our chalet during the bbq to drink the water in our container thingy.

was the first to sleep after clearing almost everything,slept for 45 mins or so then went to bathe then went to sleep again. was veh tired cos didnt sleep the previous morning, unless you count the half an hour plus of closing-eyes-on-the-staircase-with-pillow-with-noisy-mahjong-music as sleep.next morning cleared stuff again then went to eat chicken rice for breakfast lolol. then decided to go play cs at lan at bukit timah plaza. then reached home with 184.

post is rather short, as compared to my other 1337 long posts, think old already cant write much. kinda feel like my standard of english is dropping, quite a lot of words i came across recently in books/web i didnt know the meaning at all ._. and i couldnt like think of sentences with complicated words. AHHHHH die die die.

wanna have more 404 class outings somehow, i think we're the only class who dont have any class outings. think the most was during elaine's soka thingy? phail. dont really much about the 205ians cos im pretty sure the guys will keep in touch somehow through maple/msn/soccer. come to think of it, after 2 years i realised its kinda hard to find a class like 404 lolol. smart but not proud, im pretty sure they're noisy but always act quiet. hardworking too and has the best study environment in my 4 years of nhhs. come come more class outings! cos i think wont be staying or its going to be hard to contact them after we leave each other after the results collection, for good.

i wanna stay 16 forever D: omg sounds so childish. but i wanna stay in nhhs, interesting place to be in ;o lets see where i'll end up next year.